Which Stooge are you?

Life has its little comedy troupes; morons who only exist to make the rest of the world laugh. If you've ever pulled a caper, a shenanegin, or bonered up a really good opportunity, then you know what I mean.

The world is full of simpletons, and chances are that you are one of them. But how can you be sure? And if you are, what kind are you? A numbskull, a nitwit, a knucklehead, or just your average run-of-the-mill boob? Take this quiz if you dare to find out!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. You'll make a huge wad of cash if you can guard a priceless Ming vase for the next 24 hours, but one of your idiotic friends breaks it. How do you react?
I pummel my friends about the head until they beg me to stop.
I try to glue the vase together and hope no one notices.
I attempt to find a replacement vase and swap it for the broken one.
I run around in circles barking like a dog until the situation blows over.
I'm probably the idiot that broke it in the first place.
4. You see a pretty girl at a party smile at you. How do you proceed?
Sing her an enchanting ballad.
Buy her some flowers.
Steal some flowers off a table centerpiece and give them to her.
Impress her with your ability to play "La Cucaracha" by thumping on your throat.
Start a pie fight.
Nothing doing. Confirmed bachelor for life!
5. There's a bear between you and the exit to the cave! Do you:
Try to confuse it with a song and dance routine.
Run like hell and hope he catches one of your friends.
Turn white as a sheet and go fetal.
Wrestle him for that fish he's got in his mouth.
6. You've been hired to impersonate the King of Siam for a day. What do you do?
Keep quiet and hope no one notices you're not the real deal.
Have them send up as much food as the kitchen can make!
Visit the King's harem and make some new friends.
The day's wastin', and you've got a lot of new laws to write!
Challenge the King of Mongolia to an arm-wrestling contest.
24 hours of quality sleep.
7. You're being chased by police for something that was surely an accident! Now what?
Disguise yourself as a department store mannequin and stand real still.
Blame it on a bystander and hope he looks guiltier than you.
Find the nearest available pastry and start whipping it at those flatfoots!
Offer the cops a thousand bucks for the policeman's ball -- then try to work up a plan to make that kinda scratch.
Run like the wind.
8. A crook holds you at gunpoint and forces you to help him rob a bank. Do you:
Help him out, making sure to pocket your own share.
Try to trip him up so he gets caught.
Fill his bags of loot with dirty socks so he'll be in for a surprise when he reaches his hideout!
Stammer uncontrollably at the sight of his gun and freeze like a deer in the headlights.
9. You're trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. How do you do it?
Drop a piece of furniture on it and hope it forces it in.
Grab your buddy's head and use that to hammer the peg down.
Shave off the corners of the peg with a saw, barely avoiding cutting yourself.
Skip all this science stuff and find a waffle house.
10. You've inherited your uncle's antique store. What do you do with it?
Invite your two idiot brothers to run it with you, assuming they'll shape up and act like professionals.
Sell everything and hit the buffet.
Accidentally break everything and blame it on your buddy.
11. You just won the lottery! How do you spend your winnings?
Put in the bank for a rainy day.
Order a stack of pancakes as tall as a man.
Buy that vacant mansion down the street and fix it up. "Haunted" my ass!
Blow it all betting on the ponies.
12. You've just been kicked out of the gang. Who do they replace you with?
An angry dwarf with a stupid haircut.
A perennial sidekick with aspirations of greatness he can't hope to achieve.
A hyperactive lardass who loves his chow.
Your older brother who is almost but not quite as much fun as you.
A similar looking but less talented version of yourself.
Curly Joe DeRita.

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