What job would you get in Ankh-Morpork?

Good morning, Discworld fan! I expect you're wondering what job you WOULD get in Ankh-Morpork, yes? The only city in the world where the river catches fire in Summer! Home of possibly the most excellently written characters in history! Now is YOUR chance to be one of them . . .

So, take the quiz, so kindly put together by Ms Eruthiel Blipblipblip, proffessional fanatic and obsessive Discworld reader, right now! It's accurate! It's interesting! It's so fresh the pig ain't noticed it's gone! 100% free, money back garruntee, and that's cutting my own throat!

Created by: Eruthiel

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Where do you feel most comfortable?
Rooftops
The dark
Anywhere away from dogs
Bed
My office
Any office
4. If you had to align your wardrobe to one colour, what would it be?
It already IS aligned - to black
What wardrobe?
Blue
Pink or red
Anything dark
I don't really care
5. What is/was your best subject in school?
Gym, or anything with knives
Sod that
I just did my best to get through
Textiles
Political studies
Maths
6. What animal are you most like?
A cat
A bear
Some kind of dog, which is ironic, really
Something cute or beautiful
A carniverous flamingo
A . . . human?
7. Which of these sounds most like something you would say?
No killing . . . without pay
I deduce from your terrified sqeals that you object to having a knife pressed to your throat in this manner
Don't ask me about rains of spaniels, any sort of dragon or Mrs Cake
Hi, honey
If it ain't broke, don't fix it
Yes, sir
8. Do you have any special skills?
I can move silently and stand still for hours
I can prevent major cross-species wars
I'm a people-person
Sure, and they only cost half a dollar extra
I can tell what you're thinking before you think it
Filing
9. What is your pet peeve?
Looking uncool
Just about everything
Big, angry dogs, or rollerskates
Ungrateful customers
Predesessors, or mimes
Mathmetical errors
10. What is most important to you?
Being cool
An idiosyncratic family ritual
Getting the job over with
I dunno
Being alive
Filing
11. What are your hobbies?
Climbing around rooftops at night
Huh? What hobbies??
I like to be busy and organise things
Whatever's going on now
Crosswords
Filing
12. How smart do you think you are?
If I'm still around to answer this quiz, pretty sharp, I guess
Street-smart, but bad at things like grammar, etc.
Don't ask me; I'll only be modest
Not too bright, but I get by
A billion times smarter than whoever wrote this stupid quiz
Good at maths and logical thinking, etc.
13. Someone tries to mug you. What do you do?
Incapacitate them neatly
Arrest them, unless I'm in a bad mood or a hurry, in which case I give them a thrashing they never forget
Yell for help
Pray I don't die, or simply kick them where it hurts
I get someone else to kill/incapicitate them on my behalf
I drop six tonnes of algebra on their head

1. What is your age?

Under 18 Years Old

18 to 24 Years Old

25 to 30 Years Old

31 to 40 Years Old

41 to 50 Years Old

51 to 60 Years Old

Over 60 Years Old

2. What is your gender?

Male

Female

3. Where do you feel most comfortable?

Rooftops

The dark

Anywhere away from dogs

Bed

My office

Any office

4. If you had to align your wardrobe to one colour, what would it be?

It already IS aligned - to black

What wardrobe?

Blue

Pink or red

Anything dark

I don't really care

5. What is/was your best subject in school?

Gym, or anything with knives

Sod that

I just did my best to get through

Textiles

Political studies

Maths

6. What animal are you most like?

A cat

A bear

Some kind of dog, which is ironic, really

Something cute or beautiful

A carniverous flamingo

A . . . human?

7. Which of these sounds most like something you would say?

No killing . . . without pay

I deduce from your terrified sqeals that you object to having a knife pressed to your throat in this manner

Don't ask me about rains of spaniels, any sort of dragon or Mrs Cake

Hi, honey

If it ain't broke, don't fix it

Yes, sir

8. Do you have any special skills?

I can move silently and stand still for hours

I can prevent major cross-species wars

I'm a people-person

Sure, and they only cost half a dollar extra

I can tell what you're thinking before you think it

Filing

9. What is your pet peeve?

Looking uncool

Just about everything

Big, angry dogs, or rollerskates

Ungrateful customers

Predesessors, or mimes

Mathmetical errors

10. What is most important to you?

Being cool

An idiosyncratic family ritual

Getting the job over with

I dunno

Being alive

Filing

11. What are your hobbies?

Climbing around rooftops at night

Huh? What hobbies??

I like to be busy and organise things

Whatever's going on now

Crosswords

Filing

12. How smart do you think you are?

If I'm still around to answer this quiz, pretty sharp, I guess

Street-smart, but bad at things like grammar, etc.

Don't ask me; I'll only be modest

Not too bright, but I get by

A billion times smarter than whoever wrote this stupid quiz

Good at maths and logical thinking, etc.

13. Someone tries to mug you. What do you do?

Incapacitate them neatly

Arrest them, unless I'm in a bad mood or a hurry, in which case I give them a thrashing they never forget

Yell for help

Pray I don't die, or simply kick them where it hurts

I get someone else to kill/incapicitate them on my behalf

I drop six tonnes of algebra on their head

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What job would you get in Ankh-Morpork?

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