The Booze-O-Metre

Many of us spend our time drowning our sorrows or otherwise enjoying the wonders of booze. But, many problems may arise from this careless lifestyle. Have you ever wondered: "How drunk am I? Can I drive? Can I have another shot and not topple over?"

Well, question no-more, for the Booze-O-Metre is fired up and ready to enlighten you with its vast insight into the world of drunkenness!! Whether you prefer shaken or stirred, merlot or chardonnay, booze or bhewzsh, this amazing quiz-powered device will be able to determine your level and type of drunkenness.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Welcome to the Booze-O-Metre, which will attempt to ascertain the aproximate level of booze recently imbibed by the quiz-taker.
Okay.
Hic. Okay.
4. How drunk do you feel, right now?
I don't drink.
Not at all.
A lil bit tipsy.
I'm drunk.
I'm sho drunk.
I'm sho totally shmasht.
5. What was the last type of alchohol which you have drank, or most similar to so?
Beer
Simple cocktails or cheap wine
Expensive wine
Hard alchohol
Mouthwash or antifreeze
None
6. Which is the most low-class brand of merlot which you have drank?
Shrieking Owl
Two-Buck Upchuck
Crane Liver
I haven't drank any of these
I don't drink cheap booze
I don't drink
7. Is a purple elephant watching you take this quiz?
Yes
...No?
No, but a pink one is!
Bleargh! I don't let that guy in my house anymore, he keeps eating the beautiful birds around my head
8. You admire Ireland for:
It's many contrubutions to the fields of art and literature and it's charmingly unique culture and history
It's many contributions to the field of booze
Nothing
Ireland? Ish that the one in Alabama?
9. Which is the best way to get drunk cheap?
Crappy wine
Panhandling
Oral-B
10. Scenario: A cop just pulled you over. Are you aware of the reasoning behind this?
Yes, I was speeding.
Probably, I'm inebriated, but I didn't notice myself driving poorly.
Yeah, I'm drunk and I know I was driving like a maniac.
COP? Whadaush dhat shtand foar? Coshtabuh on Pisha? Caush that wood be dahlishush.
11. Have you ever gotten hammered in order to quell the pain of a hangover.
No. That would be idiotic.
No, but it wouldn't be such a terrible idea.
Yes, absolutely won't do it again!
Yes, not my best decision.
Honey, I do that on a regular bashish.
12. If you could instantly replace your dead-end career with any of the following, which would you choose?
Insane Defence Attorney
Well-paid but Dull Pencil-Pusher
Heroic Fireman
Firetruck?

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