Office Crush or Stalker?

The modern dating pool: finding love in the office, online, etc. With a never-ending source of valuable and invaluable information, one can easily become a STALKER. Maybe unknowingly, but a stalker nevertheless.

Do you have a crush on your coworker? Or are you a stalker? Have your friends and family staged an intervention? Thanks to this critical test, you can find out where you stand: stalker or crush? and get help if you need it.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. You tell her that her hair looks:
better than yesterday
better before she left her house
better before she went to bed last nite
better in the shower
4. Your cubicle is next to hers. You eavesdrop on her private conversations...
yes, you are interested, but easily pretend you are not listening
laugh from the other side when she makes a good joke
say, "that's what she said"
send her instant messages responding to everything she is saying
5. She's just had a bad meeting with her boss. You:
ask her if she wants a massage after you've already started giving her one
tell her to quit her job and run away with you to Mexico
Time to pull out that bottle of wine you've had hidden in your file cabinet!
ask her if she wants to talk about it...even tho you are breathing heavily
6. You have an office nickname. It is:
"The Toucher"
"Guy with the horrible odor and funny face"
"Giggles"
"Makers Mark"
7. When leaving the office you say to your crush:
why don't we take the stairs instead of the elevator?
you taking your usual route home today? i need gas
Stalk ya later!
pretend your on the phone and say "I love you" you look to the side to see what her reaction was
8. You are most likely to say the following:
"I want to climb you like a tree"
"I'm in an arranged marriage, so if you're looking for a good time..."
"Have you done your taxes?"
"God, your little"
9. When you use the word "magical", you are:
referring to the song, "Every Breath You Take"
making fun of the office stalker
talking about your sexual abilities
talking about cookie dough ice cream
10. When you run into your crush on the street:
you turn red and walk the other direction
instead of saying hi, announce that it is a public street and you have every right to be there
you are not surprised because you were following her in the firstplace
you fake a seizure and then realise people don't give mouth-to-mouth to people having a seizure...dammit
11. In your office cubicle one can find:
a photo-shopped picture of you and your crush in Japan
a locked drawer of stolen company picnic photos...only of your crush
a picture of Uma Thurman
a book on how to get rid of your stalker
12. You've been called into H.R. for saying:
"I think I want to look for a new job...what do you think?"
"Am I ever going to see your boobs??"
"Wanna touch my muscle? Come on, touch it."
"Come on. Just give me a little peek."

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