How Unpleasant are You?

There are many unpleasant people, but few true douchebags. Douchebaggery is, after all, quite exceptional. What is a douchebag? Well, it could be you. Take the quiz and discover your true nature! Or, just take it despite already knowing your true nature.

Are YOU a douchebag? Do you have the douchebaggery to qualify for that prestigious title? Until now you could only wonder. But thanks to this great quiz, in just a few moments you may or may not find out!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Do you:
Swear
Swear like a sailor
Swear like Eric Cartman
Swear like Cartman pretending to have Tourette's
None of the above
Insist that people watch their language
4. When speaking to someone, do you generally:
Stand a normal distance from him or her
Stand right in his or her face
Stand right in his or her face and spit all over the place
5. Are you a moron?
Yes
No
6. Let's say you're walking down the street and someone grabs your hat and runs off with it. Do you:
Let him go
Follow him and demand your hat
Follow him and beat his ass
Follow him and beat his ass to death
Follow him, beat him, take his wallet, go to his home, and murder him and his family as they sleep
Call the police and complain
7. What do you think of the Catcher in the Rye?
Brilliant
Annoying
True-to-life because it's so annoying
Vulgar
Makes me want to kill John Lennon
Never read it
8. Let's say you inherit an elevator. What sort of elevator music will you put in it?
The Girl from Ipanema
Death metal
Lady Gogo or whatever kids are listening to nowdays
Leave it silent
9. Would you describe your face as:
Handsome
Cute
Plain
Ugly
Ugly as Hell
I don't have a face
10. Let's say you're a dictator of a moderately large Latin American nation and have strong support from the military. Will you end up:
Responsible for the deaths of many of your own people
Responsible for the deaths of many other people
Both of the above
Reforming the government into a democracy
None of the above
11. Let's say a registered pedophile moves in next door. Are you more likely to:
Ignore his past
Treat him warily
Leave threatening-type things on his lawn and front door
Kill him
Ask him how he got caught so you don't make the same mistake
12. Did you steal the kiszka?
Yes
No
Yes, but I gave it back

1. What is your age?

Under 18 Years Old

18 to 24 Years Old

25 to 30 Years Old

31 to 40 Years Old

41 to 50 Years Old

51 to 60 Years Old

Over 60 Years Old

2. What is your gender?

Male

Female

3. Do you:

Swear

Swear like a sailor

Swear like Eric Cartman

Swear like Cartman pretending to have Tourette's

None of the above

Insist that people watch their language

4. When speaking to someone, do you generally:

Stand a normal distance from him or her

Stand right in his or her face

Stand right in his or her face and spit all over the place

5. Are you a moron?

Yes

6. Let's say you're walking down the street and someone grabs your hat and runs off with it. Do you:

Let him go

Follow him and demand your hat

Follow him and beat his ass

Follow him and beat his ass to death

Follow him, beat him, take his wallet, go to his home, and murder him and his family as they sleep

Call the police and complain

7. What do you think of the Catcher in the Rye?

Brilliant

Annoying

True-to-life because it's so annoying

Vulgar

Makes me want to kill John Lennon

Never read it

8. Let's say you inherit an elevator. What sort of elevator music will you put in it?

The Girl from Ipanema

Death metal

Lady Gogo or whatever kids are listening to nowdays

Leave it silent

9. Would you describe your face as:

Handsome

Cute

Plain

Ugly

Ugly as Hell

I don't have a face

10. Let's say you're a dictator of a moderately large Latin American nation and have strong support from the military. Will you end up:

Responsible for the deaths of many of your own people

Responsible for the deaths of many other people

Both of the above

Reforming the government into a democracy

None of the above

11. Let's say a registered pedophile moves in next door. Are you more likely to:

Ignore his past

Treat him warily

Leave threatening-type things on his lawn and front door

Kill him

Ask him how he got caught so you don't make the same mistake

12. Did you steal the kiszka?

Yes

Yes, but I gave it back

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How Unpleasant are You?

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