1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old 2. What is your gender? Male Female 3. You walk into a dark room. What do you do? Switch on the light Open the light Hit the lights Throw yourself on the floor and wail at your awful lightless fate 4. Your mother has an older friend called Julie, with kids called Jane and John. You call them... Aunt Julie, Jane and John Julie, Jane and John Auntijee, Bhai and Baji 'the goray' 5. At school, you wore: the school uniform/what everyone else wore a close appoximation of the school uniform, purchased mostly from the cash&carry a shalwar kameez goth clothes 6. You score 97% in a maths test at school. Your parents say: Well done! Shabash, beta What did everyone else get? What happened to the other 3%? 7. How many of the following are you related to:
a man with a beer belly even though he never drinks. none 1-2 3-4 5-6 8. A close relative has had a baby boy! What do you take to their house as a gift? A box of ladoo A box of chocolates Money Nothing 9. Your teenage sister was seen at the local shopping sister kissing a boy. What do your parents do? Wail and moan at the dishonour she has brought to the family, then ground her for life. Talk to and advise her on relationships. Send her to Pakistan. Congratulate her on finally having found a boyfriend. 10. Your male cousin is washing dishes while his sisters watch TV. You think this is: A travesty. Commendable. Normal. Blackmail. 11. You see something you like in a shop, but it's too expensive. You: Save up and buy it. Order a similar but inferior copy from abroad. Haggle for a bit as a joke. Haggle with the shop owner until either the price is acceptable or you're thrown out by security. 12. How many of the following do you have in your extended family: a performer, an artist, a plumber, a joiner, someone who's always early for everything 0 1-2 3-4 5 13. Pakistan are playing England at cricket. You support: Pakistan England Neither, cricket is boring Neither, the conflict of interest would make my head implode 14. Now India are playing England. You support: Whoever's winning India England I told you already, cricket's BORING! 15. Did any of your instant messenger contacts have anything along the lines of 'RIP BOB WOOLMER' in their screen names? Nope Maybe one or two More than two Who's Bob Woolmer? 16. Pak sar zameen shad bad! KISHWARAY HASEEN SHAD BAAAD! You what now? Uhhh... that's the national anthem, right? Why, what wonderful spiritual poetry. 17. You are served a plate of spaghetti. What would be your ideal accompaniment? A roti Chilli sauce Garlic bread Red wine 18. You are visited by an elderly relative. When greeting them you expect them to: Shake your hand Slap your face Hug you Pat your head 19. Someone asks you if you are Indian. You are: Confused Offended Flattered Ready to slap them upside the head 20. Qayd e Azam was: A man who wore a funny hat, hehehe A politician The founder of our great nation ...a Disney character? 21. You and your family are arriving home from a trip abroad. You are met by: Immigration officials One or two friends No one Your entire 400-strong extended family, complete with that aunty you only see once a year 22. Your favourite dessert is: Chocolate cake Ice cream I don't like sweet things Rasomalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai! 23. You are likely to have friends named: Janet, Jemima and Jason Aisha, Samina and Mohammed Shaniqua, Monique and DJ Fizzle Pinky, Dolly and Bubbly 24. Out of these 4, who do you think is the best looking? Angelina Jolie Aishwarya Rai Halle Berry Scarlett Johansson 25. It's been a long hot summer, and a friend comments on your tan. You might say: Thanks! I hope I don't get skin cancer TANNED?! Oh my God, I'm HIDEOUS!! Yeah well you ain't exactly looking pasty yourself, yaar 26. You are invited to a wedding for 6.30pm. You arrive at: 6.15pm 6.30pm 7.00pm 9.00pm (if we're being optimistic) 27. How many of the following might be found in your house: a ornamental tissue box cover, a collection of chappal, 50lb sacks of rice and flour, coconut oil, a lota, and a medical student. 0 1-2 3-4 5-6 28. The door has just slammed shut by itself! What might have caused it? A gust of wind A JINN Poor door installation by a cowboy builder Don't know, don't care 29. Your hypothetical friend admires and praises your hypothetical baby. You reply: Why thank you, I made it myself Meh, it's nothing special Yes yes, I know. He's training to be a Dactar. STOP PUTTING NAZR ON MY BABY 30. Last question before you can see your results!
Which of these is the flag of Pakistan? saffron, white and green bands with a blue chakra green, with a red disc just off centre green with a white band, and a white moon and star green with a mango and cricket bat