How Howell are You?

There are many people who are too old to fit the 80s high school nerd stereotype, but few true Howells. Howell is, after all, quite exceptional. Who is Howell? Howell is someone who has an extraordinarily demented mind, is able to solve complex problems but only does so if he thinks he can get pie or make himself look better than those around him, and sees the world through an entirely irreverent point of view.

Are YOU Howell? Do you have the insanity to qualify for that prestigious title? Until now, you could only wonder. But, thanks to this great quiz, in just a few moments, you will find out!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Do you deal with issues by punching someone, and him or her crying?
Yes
No
4. When you were a wee baby, did you dream to one day become...
President
Astronaut
Racecar
Cowboy
Dungeon Master
None of the above
5. Let's say you spend one minute trying to explain something. How many filler words, such as 'right', 'umm', or 'yeah', do you use?
0
1-2
3-10
10-30
30-9000
Over 9000
6. You dislike the effects of an inanimate object. Therefore, it is:
Junk
Useless
Not for me
DUMB
7. When you think Germany, you think...
Schnitzel
Oktoberfest
Nazis
Big, tall people who put SUBJEKT, den OBJEKT, den WERRRB
Soccer-playing philosophers
Other
8. What's your idea of a fun night out?
Booze
Trolling for chicks
Playing board games with people half your age
Something cultured, such as viewing a musical
9. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like pie in general?
0
1-3
4-6
7-9
10
11
10. Do you ever worry about the consequences of making verbal threats?
Yes
No! And I'll lock you in my basement and torture you if you insinuate that I do.
11. How about political incorrectness in public locations?
Yes
(Insert ethnic or social group here) eat their babies
12. How about if you're employed by the state?
Yes
Hey, Superintendent! (Insert ethnic or social group here) eat their babies
13. Something's labelled 'garlic mint dip.' It tastes like pear-scented shampoo. Is it a good idea to eat the entire bowl of it?
Yes
No
14. Which of these are you most likely to say?
I love pie
The cute little plush owl says: "I love pie."
I do not love pie
Pie can kiss my ass

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