How Gluttinous are You?

You may wonder: "Do I eat a lot? I'll just bet there's a quiz from my unfriendly neighborhood lunatic which can tell me." However, this is unlikely, as the vast majority of human beings should have a general idea of their own diet. But who knows?-- You may not be a human, but a somewhat-sentient beast with the ability to check circles but a lack of aptitude in analyzing your own actions. Or more likely, you have ceased to read this primer and therefore are unlikely to be concerned by these notions.

I now present to you an E. Lunatic quiz; one of the few with, admittedly, only a marginal humorous value. However, the fact that the subject matter and results are probably comprehensible to many may make up for this.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Which of these best matches your daily diet?
Some crackers
2 or 3 meals, 1 or 2 of which is/are more of a snack
3 square, well-rounded (!?) meals
3 meals and a few snacks
I never go anywhere without a snack in hand
I never go anywhere without a meal in hand
4. Best quality assumed, would you ever eat twenty-five small hamburgers in one sitting?
Yes
No
5. How about 40 ounces of steak?
Yes
No
6. How about 100 ounces of steak?
Yes
No
7. What is the volume of beverages which you consume on an average day?
Under 1 quart
1 quart- 1.5 quarts
1.6 quarts- .5 gallon
.5 to 1 gallon
1- 1.5 gallons
Over 1.5 gallons
8. Are you vegitarian? If so, do you prefer traditional flora, or meat substitutes?
Flora
Meat substitutes
Not vegitarian
9. How about dairy products?
Fine
No
Not vegitarian
10. In which period of time would you be likely to consume your body weight?
Less than 1 week
1- 3 weeks
3- 5 weeks
5- 8 weeks
2-3 months
Over 3 months
11. Do you bite peoples' fingers off if they invade your personal space?
Yes
No
12. Would you say that you have a high metabolism?
Yes
Not particularly
No
13. Which best describes your physical state?
I'm slim or average for whatever reason
I'm fat because I have a glandular problem
I'm fat because I eat poorly
I'm fat because I simply eat too much
I'm a gigantic, muscular mass because I eat well but do not neglect physical activity
I'm a gigantic, corpulent, amorphous mass because I insist on ordering a bucket and "the lot"

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