How crappy is your life?

Most people have lives, but how do they know if theirs are crappy are not? This quiz is designed to help with the age-old question that philosophers such as Aristotle and Plate wrestled with: "Is my life crappy?"

For a limited time only, find out now! Dead people need not apply. But if you are dead, that would be f---ing awesome. For me, I mean. For you it might suck.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. What is your income?
I'm a student, accruing debt that will take me my entire life to pay off.
I'm a student, and parents/scholarships are paying for it.
I make more money than you could dream of.
I get by.
I'm in hiding from my creditors.
I'm homeless.
4. How much do you enjoy your job/school?
It sucks balls.
I generally enjoy it, but it can be tough sometimes.
I'm having an orgasm just thinking how good it is.
Jobs are for losers. I'm a trust-fund kid.
I'm unemployed/not attending school, but I wish I was.
I'm homeless
5. How many friends do you have?
None. I'm a loser.
One, but he picks his nose.
One, and he doesn't pick his nose.
Enough
Plenty!
The entire world is my friend
6. Your family is...
sociopathic
the best ever!
nonexistent
does my dog count?
dead. Since yesterday.
fairly decent
7. Do you have any hobbies?
Yes, playing on the computer. Alone. In my room.
Yes, that's how I meet new friends!
No, I don't have time.
No, I'm boycotting the meaninglessness of life by focusing on nothingness.
Yes, and I love it.
Begging for money.
8. Do you have any pets?
No. I hate animals.
No, I wish I did.
Yes, a fish.
Yes, a cat/dog/small furry mammal.
Yes, if cockroaches count.
Yes, a wild boar.
9. How is your love life?
I have given up on the opposite sex.
Great! I'm happily single/ in a great relationship.
I'm in a crappy relationship.
Mediocre, I date occasionally.
Do my fantasies count?
Nonexistent, chicks don't dig the homeless.
10. How healthy are you?
I'm like Superman.
Normal.
I have the flu.
I have ebola.
I'm psychotic.
I'm dead.
11. Are you happy with where you are in life?
No, I have failed miserably.
Somewhat, but I had hoped to be a little different.
Yes, and that's why it pays to set low goals.
Yes, I have worked hard to be where I am.
I don't know. What is "happy"? And "life"?
Sure, the drinking keeps the pain away.
12. Why are you taking this quiz?
I'm bored.
I'm procrastinating.
I'm lonely.
I'm waiting for the p--- to load.
I don't know.
I'm a quiz-taking fiend!
13. Do other people appreciate you?
No.
Hardly.
Somewhat.
Yes.
They overvalue me.

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