Am I (gasp) A Minion?

If there was such a thing as "minion," and we all know there's not, but if there was, how would one be able to identify one or even know if they were in fact one?

This quiz is designed to answer that question and put your mind at ease. If there was such a thing. But there's not you know. I swear. Seriously. Ask anyone.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Someone posts a picture of their newborn baby daughter. You first reaction is to:
Congratulate the parent.
Make a dumb crack about gregjefferies wanting to "do" her.
Perform a regression analysis on her birth weight.
Photoshop a toy phone into her hand.
4. The guy across the street from you parks in your driveway. Incensed you:
Give him four flats.
Walk back into the house and whine to your spouse.
Write an angry note and leave it on his windshield.
Write a highly insulting note and sign your next door neighbor's name to it.
5. If you were a tool you'd be a:
Handy screwdriver
A Monkey Wrench
A Nailgun
A Power Drill
6. Your favorite part of your wedding was:
When you said "I do."
When they served the coffee.
Dancing with your wife's mother.
Dropping a fork on the floor and looking up the maid of honor's dress.
7. The famous person you'd most like to meet is:
George Washington
Denzel Washington
Claudell Washington
Harvey Keitel
8. You got to a ball game and end up sitting behind some ranting lunatic old man. You ask him to:
Please sit down and try to keep quiet.
Sign your "Let's Clean Up The MOFO" petition.
Shut up or you'll get in his face and kick his ass.
Ask him to pose for a picture while holding his cell phone.
9. Delgado is to Wright as:
Older is to younger
Black is to white
First is to third
Prayer mat is to throw rug
10. A thread bemoaning a long losing streak appears on the forum. You peruse the posts looking to:
Mollify
Multiply
Mediate
Mock
11. Word association: OLD_______
YELLER
SPICE
ENGLISH
MAN WITH A PHONE
12. Your plane is going down and you have minutes to live. You:
Start praying like a choir boy.
Wonder aloud if this will get you a "silent thread."
Compute the odds that your luggage will be found.
Use your laptop to post one last zinger at jv3.

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