1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old2. What is your gender? Male Female3. Your car has broken down and you and your significant other are stranded in the middle of the countryside. What do you do? Kiss while listening to the Bauhaus by the light of the instrument panel Jump out into the countryside and have wild, passionate sex Curse, kick the car, set it on fire and then set the neighboring corn field on fire Open the hood and see if you can fix the problem Stare into the nothingness and emotionally implode Garner sympathy from your significant other until they get out and try to fix the car to stop your suffering.4. You find a threatening gris-gris (voodoo charm) stuck onto your door with a knife. What do you do? Go back inside and hope the neighbors think it's just an eccentric decoration Find the voodoo man and stick his knife into his tires find the voodoo man and stick the knife in his ear Cast a counter-spell Throw it into a mud-puddle and do a little dance around it until the voodoo man's death comes from the space between the stars Make peace with him and then destroy him with drama5. It is a a beautiful full-moon night. You: Sit on your porch with wine or absinthe, making eyes at a waifish young member of the opposite sex. Try to capture the moonlight in a talisman. Rip off your clothes and run howling through the woods. Keep your significant other inside for long, slow sex. Get angry at the beauty because what kind of God could create that and still make sure you never have any peace. You stare at it thinking of shrill flute music and drums in the deep.6. When you get truly and profoundly angry: Things start flying around your house. Somebody gets turned into a toad. It affects your circle of friends profoundly A lot of snarking, teeth-baring and soap-opera slapping A lot of growling, bruising and brawling Apocalypse.7. Pick a Higher Power: Nyarlahotep, the soul and the image of the Elder Gods Persephone, queen of the underworld Hecate, the witch-goddess Fenrir, the mighty wolf of Norse Mythology Kali, the fanged, blood-drinking goddess Yourself8. A member of the opposite sex offers you their heart, unashamedly and with no reservations. How do you respond: Inwardly you smirk and rejoice in your new toy You return the love, and place them in your collection of lovers. You bond with them for life. You stare at the television and try to ignore the ungodly burst of passion You tear it out of their chest and eat it with a grin You remove it with a scalpel and use it as an ingredient of invocation9. My favorite beverage is: Absinthe Wine Light Beer A Dark Stout Fresh blood. Red Bull10. If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? How about a big glass of shut the hell up? Who cares. I can hear everything so the point is moot. How droll. Is the tree on fire? Please tell me the tree's on fire. An interesting question which explores the nature of reality and existence: I will ponder it.11. Being a creature of the night, you love to go clubbing. What is your club like? Loud industrial music, lots of fake fog and white faces flirting from the shadows. A circle of stones in the full-moonlit woods and a boombox playing Canadian folk-rock. Your living room and you're sharing your burdens with those you love. A great Egyptian temple with chanting and incense Lots of fire, lots of fighting, lots of evil laughter and heavy metal Brand new neophytes do the hokey-pokey to baroque classical music playing at the same time as kodo drumming.12. Pick the celebrity you like the most: Gary Oldman Michael J. Fox Ian McKellan Lindsey Lohan David Duchovny Jack Nicholson