The Zombie Survival Test

''If zombies were real, what would I do?'' this is a question many people are asking themselves these days. Well folks, sorry to break it to you, but zombies ARE real. As real as you and me. I have come into possesion of this highly classified document, my anonymous friend 'borrowed' it from the highest brach of the government itself. And now i share it with you, my fellow citizens. Do you have to take this test? By all means no. Would it help me survive instead of having my brains eaten out of my head? By all means yes. The choice is yours, choose wisely.

This test will test your survival instincts, as well as your knowledge of the undead. I may be executed for posting this on the internet, (the government said something about not wanting this to get out, on account of mass histeria) but i think the public has a right to know and know how to defend themselves. Although I ask this of you, reader; mark what you would really do in the situation, not what would make you a hero. You'd be surprised.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. You are at home, watching TV (or reading the newspaper in the case that you dont have a TV) when you see a report about some killings. The report says that all the victims heads were cut off, and some had decayed. What would you do?
Take no notice of it. This stuff happens all the time.
Check into it, maybe do a little research. See if all the bodies had decayed.
Run to the scene screaming ''The suspect is innocent! He was defending himself/herself from zombies!''
Buy a shotgun.
Stock up on non-perishables, just in case.
Laugh.
4. You are taking a walk and you notice something that isnt right. You see a person limping towards you, uttering a low moan, hands outstretched. This person seems to have a wierd skin disease, it almost looks rotten. What do you do?
Tell the person to go away.
Run away screaming.
Beat in his head with a stick.
Laugh.
Run up and hug the person.
Walk away, checking to see if he follows you, then hiding
5. A class two outbreak has occured (one hundred people or so). You hear about it on the news (or in the newspaper). A minor warning has been issued, telling you to lock your doors and keep away from the windows. Plan of action?
Dont pay any attention to the warning.
Do as it says, maybe barricading the windows.
Run upstairs then hide.
Buy a pistol
6. THE CITY HAS BEEN OVERRUN. EVACUATE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. IF IN THE EVENT THAT EVACUATING ISNT POSSIBLE, FORTIFY YOUR HOUSE, AND TURN OFF ALL LITES. You see on the newspapers front page, and you are unable to evacuate. What do you do?
Try to evacuate, nevertheless
Fortify your house, turn off all the lights, and keep a low profile.
Laugh at the mis-spelling of ''lites''
Burn your stairs and get your shotgun ready
Cry to your mum (mom if your not british, like me)
I cant read, so...
7. Your house was overrun, but you escaped. The zombies are hot on your trail. You need to get out of this city, fast. Coming across many abandoned vehicles, you think about taking one. Your choice?
Take an SUV. It may be the worst car to the enviroment, as well as loud, but its a zombie killers dream, able to mow them all down.
Take a light car (i.e. Volvo, Corvette, Porsche, etc.) they can just speed past the masses. (Well, some can)
Take a bike, its quiet, non gas-dependant, and is as fast as you make it.
Continue on foot, easiest way to hide, and quietist of the options, yet not nearly as fast.
Take an off-road vehicle (i.e. Hummer, ATV, etc.) you can drive them anywhere, yet they make a ton of noise.
Take a dirtbike, its just as good as a bike, yet gas dependant and faster.
8. You make it out of the city. You havnt slept in over 48 hours though. You start to fall asleep as you travel. Where do you sleep?
In a tree, zombies cant climb
Under a tree, zombies wont see me
In a tent. Zombies cant tear, right?
Dont sleep. must...keep..trekking...
Sleep in a cave. Zombies cant see in the dark, can they?
Find an abandoned house and sleep there
9. You come into close combat with a zombie. You have the quick chance to grab either a combat knife (6 inches long) or a metal baseball bat (3 feet). Your weapon choice?
The bat, bashing in their skulls
The knife, stabbing them quickly, but getting dangerously close to their mouths
The bat, whacking out their legs
The knife, stabbing them in the chest
Run away
Use your fists, weapons are for pansies,
10. A horde of the undead have you surrounded. You can snatch one weapon from your stash, but just one. The undead are about 5 feet away. Choose carefully.
A sharp fencing rapier, fast, light-weight, and lethal
A flamethrower, heavy, gas dependant, yet extremely powerful
Nun-chaku. Light, fast, and painful
Brass knuckles, Very light, powerful, and are as fast as your fists
Javelin, one chance to throw it, make it count.
A Club. Slow, heavy, yet the most powerful weapon choice
11. The undead can communicate, True or False?
True
False
12. You encounter some friends travelling as you are. They want to party up ''Theres safety in numbers'' they say. What do you do?
Keep going on alone. Your a loner.
Take the most trusted few
Take one. Fastest choice and you can take turns sleeping
Join them, after all, there is safety in numbers
See who has the highest IQ, and take him/her
Steal their food and run away
13. You are starving, alone, and in the middle of nowhere. You stumble across an undead corpse corpse (two corpses because its already been dead once, its a bit confusing). You havnt eaten for days on end. And might have to resort to cannibalism to survive (h
Eat the undead flesh, nourishing yourself
Taste the flesh, seeing if its even edible.
Keep on walking, undead flesh is toxic, right?
Devour it with vigor.
Set the corpse corpse against a tree and call it Fred, descendant of the dead.
14. Where did the zombie disease, infection, whatever you want to call it, originate from?
The Solonum plant
Voodoo magic gone wrong
The gods cursing the mortals for their sins
A small amoeba
Poison Ivy
Huh?
15. What would be the best climate to go to and lay low be if a class 5 (in the upper millions of infected) incident occured?
The Arctic, zombies would freeze
The Desert, zombies would melt or disentigrate
The Jungle, zombies wouldnt be able to find you. (Predators (i.e. lions, panthers, etc.) stay away from undead flesh, however why they do so is unknown
The Tropics, zombies cant live in paradise, they're evil
The Ocean, zombies cant swin
The Savannas, you could see them coming from miles away, giving you time to hide
16. True or False, Zombies eat other animals? (Think carefully)
True
False
17. If you ever kill a horde of zombies, what should you do with the bodies?
Bury them, zombies NEVER rise out of the ground
Freeze them
Burn them
Decapitate them, then bury them
Eat them for dinner
Leave them where they are
18. You break into a gun store, its completely abandoned and guns are everywhere. What do you do?
Take only what is necessary for where i am going.
Stock up on shells for the weapons i already have
Take the biggest and baddest weapons, because im a badass
Take a bolt-action rifle, they make clean headshots and pass right on through the skull, and thats all I take
Raid the whole place, taking everything, even if it slows me down
Fill all my pockets, then set fire to the place, so that no bandits can get guns
19. You break into an armory (for the military) and see a few sets of armor left, completely intact. You can take one, because armors heavy. Your choice?
Metal armor, just like the knights of old!
A light set of S.W.A.T. armor, for whatever reasons
A marine armor longsleeve vest, light and chew-proof
Bullet-proof mail, just in case the zombies become intelligent and learn how to use guns
Take nothing, your faster with just cloth
Make your own out of the choices available
20. You have fought long, hard, and brutal. But its just not enough. You are tired, your armor (whatever you picked) is torn up (or broken). You are sweaty and your eye-sight is doubling because of dehydration. You have a Colt .45 Magnum with one shot left, e
Shoot the nearest ghoul and try to escape
Take your own life
Faint, maybe they will go away if they think you are dead
Scream
Shoot the nearest zombie and try to die with a smile on your face
Tell them to go away

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