1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old 2. What is your gender? Male Female 3. So, remember that last failed relationship of yours? What happened there?
I know, we never should have gotten back together, but it just keeps happening. No kidding, I mean, what *was* all that? Oh, you know, it all ended in a huge screaming match and us throwing stuff at each other. Well, I... I just... *sniff*... I... *sob!* I feel like I handled myself very well in an unpleasant situation. Beats me. Hey, I heard this really cool band lately... 4. So, if you were a unicorn, what kind of unicorn would you be?
A silver one. No wait, a blue one. I think. I'd be a robot unicorn from outer space. A rabid, man-eating unicorn. I'd probably be the weird purple unicorn that the other unicorns laughed at. A pure white unicorn with a long flowing mane and a shiny golden horn. Uh, isn't this quiz supposed to be about poo? 5. Which of the following are you most likely to say when you're drunk?
We SO need another pitcher, I'm nowhere NEAR drunk enough. So, it's like, when the stars put on a scuba suit, it's like the network, you know? Quit looking at me. What, do you want to start something? Why doesn't anybody love me? WHY? Um, I asked for the top-shelf liquor, and this is clearly a well drink. Woooooooooooo! PAR-TAY! 6. What the heck is her problem?
I don't know, but I just know I'm going to get dragged into this yet again. I don't know, I'm still not happy with where the couch is. Argh! I am so over this! I have just HAD IT with all of this from her. I worry that maybe it's my fault. I know, I shouldn't let it get to me, but then I just... I don't know, but those SHOES? Are you KIDDING me? Dude, we're out of beer again and it's your turn to go to the store. 7. Which of these songs would be the coolest to roller skate to?
You know me, I'll roller skate to anything. Igor Stravinsky, The Rite of Spring ELO, Turn To Stone REO Speedwagon, I Can't Fight This Feeling Tony Basil, Mickey Metallica, Enter Sandman 8. Which of the following musical references best expresses your personal weltanschaung?
Life is a highway. I in fact am going to ride it. All night long. Hey om ma ma ma hey ah. Life in a northern town. Hey om ma ma mah. Despite all my rage, etc. etc. I'm talking for free. I can't help myself! It's a new religion. I see trees of green, red roses too... Die, M.F., die, M.F., die!!! 9. Scientists postulate that plant life in other solar systems might be yellow or red, rather than green. How do you react to this?
So does that mean that chorophyll isn't green there? No, that can't be right, the chemical structure wouldn't change, so they would have to have some other mechanism of... That explains a lot, actually. Aw, man. I need that like a hole in the head. Wait, what? I'm confused. Is this going to be on the test? Wait, this IS the test. Crap. That would make a really cute salad. So I'm supposed to be relating this to poo, now, right? 10. Why did you have this weird hair style in high school? (Insert here a picture of you at age 16)
Well if you must know, I kept trying NOT to look like that, and it never worked. Wait, I didn't look like that. Did you Photoshop this? Hey at least I didn't have YOUR hair, Mr. Flock Of Seagulls! Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. Please, please, delete that... It was fun! And so easy to do. Because I took the haircut money mom gave me and had my friend's brother buy me beer with that, which my friend and I drank while he cut my hair. 11. So, how does your apartment look these days?
I don't know, I'm still not happy with where the couch is. Uh, let's go to your place instead. Come on, enough with the questions already! I tell myself it's "bohemian," but really it's just a big mess. Oh, it's great, I got some of those closet organizers. I don't know. It's just, you know, an apartment and stuff. 12. What question do you wish I had asked on this quiz?
If you had to choose one thing that you... no, wait. If you could make one wish, and... and one person who you... no, wait a sec. In the twilight between dreams and wakefulness, what have you forgotten to become? In what way would you like to be paid your $1000 for taking this quiz? A question that would just make it all like it used to be... Which one of these movie stars is like totally the cutest? I check this button and then I get to be done with this now. Right?