Ought You Be a Dronas Brother?

Beyond doubt, you are plagued. Every morning when you're dragging yourself to your lot in this fleeting world you wonder: is there not a greater imperative? What if there was... something else? What if I could be... a Dronas Brother?

So what the Hell is a Dronas Brother, you say? It's not a Jonas Brother, and furthermore, they stole our syllable scheme, not the other way 'round. Regardless, I'm hungry and have no time to fritter away authoring insignificant descriptions. You'll figure out what the Hell a Dronas Brother is by the end of the quiz anyway; he's the person you chooses the most outrageous responses.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Do you folks like coffee?
Er... I like coffee
Yes, WE like real coffee from the hills of Colombia
I do not particularly like coffee
I hate coffee with a passion
4. "What the Hell is wrong with you?!"
Umm..
A lotta things man, but that's not the point
Clearly; I'm completely baked
Nothing, what's wrong with YOU?
5. "What are you smokin?"
A lotta things man, but that's not the point
Weed
Your mother
Nothing
6. Other peoples' blood, it's best used as...
A beverage
A condiment
Neither of the above
7. Sabbath, Priest, Majesty. Am I talking about Christianity and/or royalty?
Yes
No!
8. Skillet, Sporks. Am I talking about culinary equipment?
Yes
No!
9. Stan, Ike, Chef. Am I talking about South Park characters?
Yes
No!
10. Which of the following do you most agree with?
"The physically and mentally handicapped have done nothing wrong or to deserve their conditions and should never be discriminated against."
"The physically and mentally handicapped are unable to or find it difficult to provide for themselves through no fault of their own, so we must care for them and offer what aid we can."
"The physically and mentally handicapped must, for the most part, be allowed to rise or fall on their own merit, lest natural selection be defied."
"The physically and mentally handicapped are a drain on society and should be mercy-killed if they are unable to function within a reasonable standard."
Both of the former two
I'm not sure, but definitely one of the latter pair
11. Which is the set of grammatically correct terms?
Human, vodou, plastic wrapper, I am
Hooman, Voodoo Madjikz, teh plistok rapzoaurzsh, I are
Hyewmin, vohdew, a series of tubes, yam
12. Of these, how would you most likely describe someone who would slit their own wrist? Commit suicide?
A poor, misguided soul; same
An individual suffering from mental issues; a depressive whom society should have seen recieved treatment
An individual suffering from mental anguish; someone whom society should have treated better
Someone too weak or dull-witted to turn their blade on the cause of their misery instead
13. Which of these is obviously the best way for a woman to guard against raep?
By remaining observant of her surroundings, acting responsibly, and being familiar with self-defense techniques, but pulling a B. Spears up to a dozen times per night out
By betching and moaning unendingly and tazering any man that comes within two metres of her
By dressing like a concubine but keeping pepper spray in her purse
By dressing like a cheap whore and getting loaded
By asking her raepist for a commitment-- lulz!!
Is this a trick question?
14. Which kicks more arse?
Vampires
Vampyres
Neither kick any arse
15. Of these, which is the best gaming platform?
360
PS3
PS2
PSP
Wii
Genesis
16. Are you currently a member of any Tea and Biscuits society or club?
Yes
No
What?
17. Is she a sport?
Yes she is, nudge nudge wink wink
...No.
18. Which of these would you most agree with?
"Intelligence and responsibility always go hand-in-hand."
"Most people who would commonly be considered responsible are fools. However, anyone who truly is intelligent will also be responsible"
"The vast majority of people who are commonly considered responsible are fools. I can hardly see any people intelligent by my standards being considered responsible by normal standards."
"It's OK not to be very intelligent if you're responsible enough."
"Intelligence and responsibility are both overrated."
19. When quizzes on this site ask for your favourite animal, are you constantly frustrated when "me" is not listed?
YES!!
...No.
20. Which of these best matches your opinion on organised co-operation to accomplish tasks?
"As a leader, I attempt to run a group fairly and responsibly. As a follower, I do what is requested of me, but am still resourceful if need be. I am willing to take command when I think I'm the best candidate."
"I do not have faith in my abilities as the leader of a group. I prefer to let someone else be dominant, but attempt to make myself a distinguised contributor to the team, rather than simply following orders."
"I prefer to remain dominant in a group, but may recognise another leader if he or she is a decent one. If my would-be companions are a bunch of numbskulls, which I define most people as, I'll work independantly instead-- I usually only do things in unison with my personal friends, in which case most of us retain rather much independance and do not follow a definite hierarchy."
"I just do what people tell me."
"I sometimes consider myself a proper leader, but more often work as a particularly important subordinate. While I do not give the orders, I do either enforce or oppose them, depending on the situation. I attempt to see that everything runs smoothly. In a reasonably balanced and traditionally organised group, I accel, but my performance suffers when the group runs into a personal conflict. I excpect everything to be done in an orderly fashion."
"I'm the guy in the bathroom lighting up whilst everyone else accomplishes tasks."
21. Of these sleep schedules, which do you NATURALLY operate closest to?
Traditional 10 PM- 6 AM
Fuddy Duddy 8 PM- 6 AM
Somniac 8 PM- 11 AM
Insomniac 4 PM- 6 PM
Nocturnal 8 AM- 4 PM
...
22. Continued...
Somewhat Nocturnal 5 AM- 12 PM
Semi- Somewhat Nocturnal 5 AM- 9 AM
Late Sleeper 12 AM- 12 PM
Semi- Traditional 1 AM- 6 AM
Ninja Trance Abuser 9 AM- 9:15 AM, 10:42 AM- 10:44 AM, 6 PM- 7 PM
Comatose 12 PM- 12 PM
23. If I made a joke about Voodoo Madjikz, would you understand the humour inherent in the subject?
Haha! How irreverent.
...No, I don't believe so
24. How many of the following apply to you: wears black boxers, favourite ice cream is black raspberry, favourite common seasoning is black pepper, wonders why, oh why, you didn't take the black pill, has black eyeglass frames, favourite racist horror movie is Blacula?
0
1-2
3
4
5
All 6
25. There is no spoon, therefore...
There is nothing
There is only the self and it's experience
Moral nihilism is justified
There can be other things
Answers 1 and 3
Answers 2 and 3
26. Capotain.
HELLZ YEAH!!
No thanks
What?
27. Do you have a legitimate Class Four zombie survival plan?
Yes
No
28. Does it involve any of the following as a key point in the plan?
Eating people
A cow-catcher
Duct tape
Refridgerators
Several of the above
No
29. Which is the set of proper terms?
Vampire, werewolf, vampwolf, voodoo magic
Vampire, werewolf, werepire, hoodoo hocus pocus
Vampire, werewolf, werepyre, VooDoo magik
Vampyre, werewolf, werepyre, VooDou Magick
Vampyre, werwolf, werpyre, Vodun Majick
Vampyre, werwolf, werpyre, Voodoo Madjikz
30. Which of these would you say?
I don't need no stinkin badge
I don't need no stinkin DMV
I don't need no stinkin flu shot
I don't need no stinkin grocery store, I have an axe
All of the above
None of the above
31. How many unique varieties of bladed weapons can you name? (E.g. claymore, kriss, wackozushi...) You may only include the examples given if you would have named them otherwise.
Negative two
-1- 5
6- 10
11-15
16-20
MOAR
32. Assume that you know you will be going into some sort of survival situation. With just that information and only four minutes to prepare, how well-equipped will you be? Note that you may not leave your home for the duration of the four minutes.
One bandaid and a bag of Funions
A pointy stick and a maybe few changes of clothes
A knife or two and a first-aid kit
Minimum 1 bladed weapon, minimum 2 meals, a few changes of clothing, minimum 1 means of fire starting, maybe a firearm
Minimum 1 firearm, minimum 2 bladed weapons, minimum 1 days' worth of food, minimum 1 means of fire starting, several articles of clothing for various circumstances, at least 1 constructive tool (E.g. duct tape), minimum 1 firearm (did I say that already?), minimum 1 destructive tool (E.g. axe, spade)
Minimum 2 days' worth of food, minimum 1 firearm with bayonet and minimum 100 ammo, minimum 5 bladed weapons, clothing ranging from very light to very heavy, duct tape and minimum 1 other constructive tool (E.g. krazy glue), minimum 3 destructive tools (E.g. axe, spade), several pointy sticks, minimum 1 spoon, minimum 2 spork, minimum 1 lighter, nice shades
33. Would the average person at all recognise your political ideaology? Religion?
Yes/ yes
Yes/ no
No/ yes
No/ no
34. Are you able to insult someone in any of the following languages?
Deutsch
Latinae
Polska
Suomi
Newspeak and/or Nadsat
At least 4 of the above
35. Are you able to speak in a way such that an average layman could understand what you are trying to convey, along with most pop culture references you make?
Sure
Sometimes
Padre... these are subtleties.
36. From which set of names would you most likely call an animal companion of yours?
Piscis Oculus, Blinky, Old Dirty D, Quoth, Madjikalcat, Teh Raven, Schmokeh, Dim, Dinner, Bruiser, Trash, Scuz, Ripper, Lil Jacky, Rend
Lieutenant Arsewhooper, Lieutenant Shinysides, Mrs. Thomson, Big Ugly Bob, Old Ugly Bob, Morbidly Obese Bob, Lieutenant Shetbag Bob, Glycosamine, Dummy, Loogie
Fido, Spot, Rufus, Max, Tiger, Maggie, Oreo, Princess, Patch, Boots, My Preciouusssssss, Frilly Miss Agitated
Flower, Daisy, Daffodil, Dandy, Petunia, Uninspired, Rose, Rosey, Old Rosey Rose, Generic, Floral, Blanket
37. The Full Moon, it's pretty cool, right?
Yeah
Sure
38. Which is the best way to eat steak?
Sauteed
Flambeed
Grilled
Fried
Straight from the corpse of something you've killed with your bare hands... you asked for the best, not the most practical...
Never
39. The Four Horsemen: How many are vampyres/werewolves/psychic vampyres/teh moest friggin psychicerist/drunken Irishmen/totally baked/fascinated by shiny objects?
4/0/2/0/0/1/1
1/1/0/0/1/2/3
2/1/1/1/1/2/5
4/4/4/4/4/4/4
40. What did the guys from Return of the Living Dead do wrong? (Even if you haven't seen it, you should be able to figure this out.)
They all should have left town the moment they discovered that destroying the brain was useless against their zombies
They (the medical suppliers) never should have let the punk rockers in
They (the punk rockers) should have stayed at Uneeda
They should not have called the number stencilled on the side of the barrel
They should never have touched the barrel
They should have done a barrel roll
41. Do supposedly-dramatic scenes that state the obvious piss you off? For example, "...derp derp derp suggests two assailants," "Then we're looking for two murderers...!"
YES
Nah
42. Which of the following best explains the success of the American Witch in her second appearance as opposed to her initial failure?
She now has a motorcycle
The apparently larger population of smexy creatures in recent times as opposed to in the past contributed much to her cause. A force of it's size can hardly be challenged by any civilian resistance. As such was eliminated or assimilated, the powers that be had nothing to protect within her domain and therefore have yet to take action.
Society is currently worse- equipped than ever before to handle a threat such as her, due to the decline of the average person's practical abilities. With the decreasing influence of natural selection, intelligence and physical hardiness are becoming ever rarer traits. Though huge advances in technology could supplement these losses, the average man is no longer expected to fend for himself and therefore is ill equipped to do so. A clever antagonist such as her can easily avoid the beaurocracy- choked state, whereas what other powers that be tolerate her presence.
It is apparent that she has gained power exponentially, evidenced by her ability to defeat Big, Tall, and Toasty with relative ease. No one could reasonably expect the average man to effectively combat any individual possessing her abilities, which is the cause of her larger and more diverse array of cohorts, rather than an effect. Her schemes will inevitably be thwarted once again as soon as appropriate authorities are summoned.
Shiney ley lines is are has shifted. Also, teh starzz.
Bawlz
43. Three of Spades amirite?!
YES
No
What?
44. Which of these groups of Tarot personifications do you most identify with?
The Fool, The Hermit, Wheel of Fortune, Death, The Devil, The Tower, Judgement, The World
The High Priestess, The Empress, The Lovers, The Chariot, Strength, The Hanged Man, Temperance, The Star, The Moon, The Sun
The Juggler, The Emperor, The Hierophant, Justice
The Fool, The High Priestess, Justice, The Hermit, Wheel of Fortune, Death, The Tower, The Moon, Judgement, The World
The Juggler, The Empress, the Emperor, The Hierophant, The Lovers, The Chariot, Strength, The Hanged Man, Temperance, The Devil, The Star, The Sun
Erm...
45. Which of these Slacker quotes would you most likely say if you were asked on a date by someone whom you do not find attractive in the least bit?
You drive a hard bargain old man.
Well woopity-doo, your hair is shiney.
You been un fooney mens.
No. I'm a soldier.
Ocular and respiratory pain.
Sucks to your ass-mar. (Slacker quoting from Lord of the Flies)
46. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Yes... general practicality
No... metaphysical idealism
Trick question, I can hear everything... metaphysical invidoic nihilism
Trick question, there was no tree and nothing fell... metaphysical invidobiboic nihilism
Trick question, and you're just making up words to describe the other trick questions, please do not do so for this response... adherance to asinus stultissimus complex
I have no friggin clue... you have no friggin clue
47. In realist's terms, how many of the following musical genres actually exist? Mathcore, manticore, deathcore, thrashcore, smashcore, maimcore, manglecore, brutalcore, kickasscore, blackcore?
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
48. Which of these -faces is known for peaceably avoiding traffic tickets?
Shetface Dodge
Murderface
Awesomeface
Iconbetchface
Leatherface
The Dreaded Sporkface
49. Are you paranoid/narcissistic/OCD/manic-depressive/ADHD/demented/mentally retarded/schizophrenic/psychopathic? Do you have a martyr complex/sleep disorder/antisocial behaviour/misplaced affinity for British grammar/hatred of duct tape?
YNYNNYNNY, NYYNN
YYYYYYNYN, NYYNY
YYYYNYNYY, YYYYN
YYYYYYYYY, YYYYN
NNNNNNNNN, NNNNN
None of the above
50. Which is home to Friggin Horrific Movie Friday?
TNN
FAUX
A&E
AMC
MTV
UNPIL

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