Internet Addiction

Are you addicted to the Internet? Of course you are, look at you! Parked there in front of the computer like the slothful Jabba the Hut that you are. Better confirm your worst suspicions by taking Dr Bofly's patented Internet Addiction Test. Just so you know.

If you try to CHEAT during this test, I will personally come to your house and stab you right in the fvcking hand with this rest of this pie. Regards, Dr Botfly. ps, answering "C" for all questions like you did at school won't work. This test follows a numerical answer format. Luckily for you, it's not an Intelligence test. Knobface.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Why are you on the internet?
I am a sad cvnt that no other cvnt likes.
There's nothing else to do here at fvcking work
I'm addicted to these gaylord forums
iT7S WHERE ALL THE PRON IS, DIPS---
4. How long do you use the internet each day?
Under 1 hour
1 hour
2-4 hours
4-6 hours
6-8 hours
8 hours +
5. When another family member is using the computer do you
Forget about the internet and occupy yourself elsewhere
Get grumpy.
Stomach this intrusion for a good 30 minutes then tell said family member to bugger off.
Casually "pop out for bread and milk" then sprint to the nearest internet cafe.
Take out a p---o mag from your bathroom ceiling crawlspace and wvnk yourself silly.
6. How often do you argue with anonymous strangers on Internet forums.
Never
Weekly
Daily
Hourly
Monthly
Annually
7. What do you like the best about the internet?
Learning and growing as a person
Learning and growing as a person and a spiritual entity.
Learning and growing as a person and a spiritual entity amongst the ones I love
Taking the piss
Shopping
PRON
8. How has the Internet affected you physically?
My cvck fell off last week.
Not at all
My back is fvcked
My arse is fvcked
Answers 3 and 4 but not 1 or 2.
I have "carpal-cvck syndrome" in my hand and that shvt ain't even been discovered yet.
9. To what degree of separation does your actual self differ from the person you "portray" in those GayLord internet forums?
No difference
Chasm-like difference
Ditch-wide difference.
Dweeb offline, Superman on.
Paper Tiger.
Get fvcked.
10. How often do you find yourself anticipating when you will go on-line again?
Usually
Sometimes
Always
Often
Never
Too embarrased to say.
11. When off-line, how often do you conduct internal dialogues with your anonymous Internet "friends"?
Usually
Sometimes
They are real people to me, you arsehole
Rarely
Never
12. How often do others in your life complain to you about the amount of time you spend on-line?
"La, la, la, I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
Hourly
Daily
Never
Almost never
Hulk smash.

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