How spicy are you?

Old Spice FC, being a rather elusive, tastey, perk bottomed, greasy, developing and at times seedy team, strive to illuminate themselves to the public eye...

This quiz, should bring both the Spice, and fans of the Spice together as one being, enough to give anyone the runs. It will also seperate the Phaals from the Baby Spices out there...Enjoy!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. In what context is the name 'Old Spice' actually meant?
The old man's aftershave
It's random, drew out of a hat
Only Oliver Hickmore knows the answer
The boys are just very spicy, and are ageing.
Actual 'old spices'.
4. Where are the Old Spice FC matches played?
Fairfield High School field
Pumpkin's patio
Tim Hawkins bath
Wilmere Lane Playing fields
Wade Deacon field
5. Who are the usual opponents for the Old Spice?
We don't play anyone, we just have kickabouts.
Any local teams up for it
Preacher Athletic
Burger King 6 Packers
Athletico Pathetico
6. What day and event, is an Old Spicer's favourite of the week?
Monday night football
Friday night piss up
Incest mondays
Student night
Saturday night aaan' ah like the way you move!
7. What does playmaker Joe Clarke love doing the most?
Making myspace pages
Playing for the Old Spice
Dogging down sandy lane
Rucking and Mauling in a hearteh game of RUGBEH!
Dressing up as a Xena Warrior Princess/Chyna hybrid lookalike.
8. Which high school do most of the spicers derive from?
Wade Deacon
Saints Peter and Paul, fly away Peter, fly away Paul.
Fairfield High School
Eton
Bankfield/Legoland
9. How does sturdy left back pumpkin spend most weekends?
Playing in an Abba tribute band
Playing mixed doubles with bjorn borg
Burying corpses beneath his Ikea patio furnishings
Writing scripts for a new 'shake n vac' advert
10. How did Smith come to organising matches with our opponents?
He got to know of the lads by necking one of their birds.
He met them at work.
He met them at school.
He met them in Canal street.
He smashed one of the lad's house's windows with a scuffed shot at goal.
11. Which readable form of media is goalkeeper Kallum Taylor often accused of wanting to be in?
FourFourTwo
Gay Times
The Morning Star
Argos
ASDA George catalogue
12. How good is Craig on guitar?
A shredder
Good
Okay
says he's a shredder but can't actually play
On a what?
13. What year was Johnny 'JIB' Lucas born?
1990
1989
1991
300 BC
The Brazillian authorities lost his birth certificate
14. Which Old Spice member is the longest in the shower?
Scott 'Shallow' Hulme...Hidden meaing?
Mike Morris' dog
Dale 'The Donkey' *ick...That could be 'kick' mind ;-)
They never shower
Andrew 'Plump on your' Plumpton 'Pumpkin'
15. Where did kallum learn his goalkeeping trade?
Slums of Soa Paolo
Just4Keepers training
Paperball in the rotunda of Fairfield
P.E. with Webster, Wooley and co
Bobby Charlton Soccer School
16. Why do you want to be a true old spicer?
You want some loving of an old woman.
You've nothing better to do with your time.
You want to play for us.
You fantasize over each of the players on a nightly basis.
You simply love football.
Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay simply don't cut the mustard any more.

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