How Male Are You?

You know you're a man... or at least you think you are. By answering a few short questions in thia quiz, you can find out how you rate among men everywhere.

You may not realize this, but your perception of your manliness may be way off base. Take this quiz to find out how you really stack up among men everywhere.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. You wake up in the middle of the night to pee. Do you:
Feel for the bowl with your shin and hope to hear a splash
Turn the light on before going
Squat
Not care
4. You chose to "hope for the best" in the last question and hear porcelain, do you:
Continue the course
Redirect until you hear the splash
Reach for the light switch
None of the above. I squatted.
5. You use your time in the shower to:
Shave
Blow your nose
Brush your teeth
Pee
All of the above
6. You're getting dressed and realize you have no clean underwear. Do you:
Put on a dirty pair
Go without
Start a load of wash
You always have clean laundry
7. The following movie gets you all choked up:
Sophie's Choice
Caddyshack
Gladiator
I would never admit to getting choked up from a movie
8. You see a beautiful woman and determine the color of her shirt to be:
Peach
Salmon
Pink
Color, Schmuller!
9. You like to relax in front of the TV...
With a six pack of Schlitz watching This Old House
With a six pack of Guinness watching a baseball game
With a glass of cabernet watching an old movie
With a hookah watching Trainspotting
With a glass of chablis watching Brokeback Mountain
I don't drink or watch TV
10. You're in the mood for a late night snack and decide:
To see if the Chinese delivery place is still open
To eat pickles
That another drink will cure the hunger
To go to bed
To whip up a casserole
11. Your favorite cheese is:
Brie
Muenster
Velveeta
Mozzerella
You're watching your cholesterol
12. Tomorrow is recycling collection. You decide to:
Neatly bundle the newspapers and sort the bottles and cans
Throw some of your empties in the trash to thin them out a little
Fit whatever you can into the garbage, bring the rest to the curb
Start a fire
13. You need a new couch. You decide to buy it at:
Crate & Barrel
IKEA
A flea market
Some internet site.
You decide you can just flip the cushions over and get 10 more years out of the old one
14. When asked "Ginger or Maryanne", you reply:
Ginger
Maryanne
Mrs. Howell
The Professor
15. Your learn that your ex-wife is moving in with her new boyfriend. You:
Worry that he's a good role model for your kids
Immediate call your attorney to cease alimony payments
Offer to help her move
Don't have an ex-wife yet
16. When buying a new shirt, you:
Walk directly to the shirts you like and grab three in differnt colors.
Spend some time browsing the different styles
Wind up driving to four stores until finding the ones
Haven't bought a new shirt in twenty years
17. Your dog just threw up on your bedspread. You:
Wait for it to dry and then chip it off
Immediately try to jam it into the washing machine
Take it to the dry cleaners
Throw it away and buy a new one
The dog isn't allowed in my room / I don't have a dog
18. Your son came home from school with a D on his report card. You say:
At least you gave it your best effort
Perhaps some extra help is in order
Does this affect your spot on the team
What are you, retarded?
19. Your 15 year old daughter invited her first-ever boyfriend to your house. You:
Welcome him to the family
Show him your pistol collection
Grunt a lot and assume the posture of a silverback gorilla
Don't allow this to happen
20. You're taking this quiz:
At work
On your laptop in the bathroom
On your laptop in the bathroom at work
Instead of stydying for finals
On your laptop in the bathroom of school or work instead of working or studying for finals

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