1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old2. What is your gender? Male Female3. Do you ever babble unintelligibly? No, I always speak formally Nope No, but I very often say things that no-one seems to understand Yes, when I'm drunk, or in another such circumstance Yes, I sometimes blurt out gibberish Blarglispherbitzsherzjoomiught4. Do you ever imagine killing other humans? No! Never. Sometimes, for a moment when someone pisses me off Yes, whenever someone makes me angry Often, with people whom I dislike Often, and not necessarily people whom I even know Often, not necessarily people whom I even know, and I always think of gruesome new ways to do so5. In the last question, did I say "other humans" quite liberally? No Yes6. What are you most likely to do if, for example, you walk into a room and hear someone lying while telling about something? Say, "That's not right--this is the way it happened..." And tell the truth Say, "Bull....!" And tell the truth Say, "Atsa roight bit-a pig poize, en." And tell the truth Say, "No..." And wait to be questioned Do any of the above, but instead of telling the truth, lie in another way even if you will not benefit Stab the guy7. Are you able to bend your thumb in such a way that the section connecting the wrist and palm protrudes from the hand at aproximately a 45 degreee angle, the next section is parallel to the hand, and the end section is positioned at aproximately a 90 degree angle relative to the hand? Yes No Yes, but only with intervention from my other fingers8. When you are absent-mindedly doing paperwork, you most likely... Nibble your fingernails or writing utensil Scratch or play with your hair Scratch or play with the hair on your hands/arms Gnaw on your thumb Twitch and look from side to side All except the first 29. Do people say that you smell strange, even though you think you smell fine? No... Yes, even though I take good care of my hygiene Yes, although perhaps I don't shower enough No, because I'm aware that I'm filthy10. Of the following, which do you consider the most attractive in the preferred gender? The obvious ones Eyes Lips Twitchy eyes Grotesquely twisted smirking lips Blood11. ...And of these? Clothing Legs Hair Hands Neck Rotting flesh12. Person #1, who has wavy brown hair and wears a blue sweater, bets his friend Person #2, who has not cut his fingernails in exactly 6 days and 15 hours, that she cannot guess his religious affinity. She asks him to vocalize the numeral 10. Immediately before doing so, he smiles. Person #2 is able to guess correctly. Based on the information given, can you determine his religion? No, I can't No, it's impossible to tell Yes, he's obviously a Satanist Yes, he's obviously a Hindu Yes, he's obviously a M00finizt13. What do you think about the taste of blood? It's disgusting It's delicious Both of the above I like it, but would prefer it to be less salty I'm indifferent I've never tasted blood14. When no-one is around, do you ever gnaw on pieces of furniture? No Yes Yes, and when they are around as well15. Who was the president of the United states from 2000-2004? George Dubya Al Gore Barack Obama Chuck Norris The Duke of Sandwich It doesn't matter, the president is just a pawn and has never been "elected" anyway16. Are you hungry right now? Yes No You know, I wasn't, but since I started taking this quiz I'm getting there17. A mad genius is... A stereotypical movie character The only kind of genius The only variety of madman Usually also an evil genius All of the above18. Have you every seen an apparition? If so, which of these best describes the experience? Nope Maybe, I'm not sure... Yes, but only for a moment Yes, only for a moment, but I seemed to be able to sense things about it Yes, very clearly Yes, very clearly, and often19. Would you say that the following description matches your hands: Two deep lines at most joints, three deep lines on the palm with several less-deep lines in other places and very many subtler lines visible at any given point? Exactly Somewhat Vaguely Not even close20. Haw many tendons are visible on the back of your relaxed hand, discounting the knuckle area? 0 1 2 3 4 5 (+?)21. Do those hand-related questions remind you of any of the following words? Tyson Riff Raff Spade Frayed All of the above None of the above22. Which of the following best describes your most likely arm motion when cheering? Shoulder and elbow at about a 90 degree angle, with either hand or pointer finger motion, possibly circular elbow motion Vertical motion with clenched fist Clapping Flailing every which-way Open hand with horizontal motion, shoulder and elbow at acute angles None of the above23. The lunar cycle is important to your... Occupation Hobby Both of the above None of the above None of the above, shiftyeyes24. Do you vocalize "shiftyeyes" when you have shifty eyes? Yes No25. Why are humans superior to animals? Because of our reasoning capacity and aptitude for technology Because of our capacity for morality Because the hunting of humans for their protein-rich meat is unlikely to negatively impact ecology We aren't They aren't26. Are the ninjas watching you. ...No... Yes. One would be a fool not to expect that the ninjas will be watching them. Hell, I AM a ninja and I watch the ninjas and the ninjas are still watching me.27. If you were to see an average person, the best simile is that it would be like another average person seeing... A third average person A puppet A steak A puppet filled with steaks A puppet filled with soy-based meat substitutes God28. Under what circumstance, furthest down the list applicable, would you be willing to kill and eat a man? Never Only to survive If doing so would somehow save the lives of more people If I had had to kill him for whatever reason and found no other way to hide the evidence In a spontaneous moment of rage or mania Whenever I'm hungry29. In the case that that you've just gotten a life sentence for killing and eating that man, when asked why you did it, you would most likely reply... Nothing, because I didn't kill or eat anyone I did what I had to do. I'm sowwy momma ;_;. Nothing. Just stare at my feet. Well, I mean, I had to eat SOMETHING, and the corner store was closed, so... I did it for the lulz.30. You are, in most cases, more attracted to things or people which are... Sexually attractive Smexually attracive31. Do you consider yourself to be a goth or punk? If so, do you shop at Hot Topic? Yes and yes Yes and no, Hot Topic is corporate bulls--- intent on exploiting my lifestyle and I won't support them Yes and no, there are other stores which I prefer No and no32. "Because sometimes...even elephants need to forget."-Some dude whose name I forget True False ...Umm...33. If you were angry at your friends for whatever reason, you would most likely... Ignore it Argue with them Start a fight Kidnap one of them, shackle them in your basement, and torture them to death over several days Devote the next six months or more to writing and publish a novel which includes a bunch of transvestite characters named after all of them