How Good Will You Be At Surviving the Apocalypse

Welcome to the end of the world. You wake up to find all of civilization in ruins, mutant giraffes running the government and 80's punk bands trolling the blasted landscape. Can you survive this new reality?

This quiz was developed based on years of careful study and screening of a variety of amazing how-to survival movies such as "After the Fall of New York," "Intruders from the Year 3000," "Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome," "Hell Comes to Frogtown," and "The Postman." OK, maybe not that last one, but still...Test your chances of survival by testing your survivalist knowledge.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. What is the best outfit a post-apocalyptic survivor should wear?
Latex Gimp outfit & a Leash
Toga robes and dirty rags
Modfied football padding
Iridescent Bodysuit and motorcycle helmet
Anything left at Old Navy
4. What is the best mode of transportation through a radioactive wasteland?
Stripped-down dune buggy
Motorcycle with front-mounted machine guns
Bicycle helicopter
Lower torso tank treds
A horse, camel or llama. Whatever's still alive
5. Who is your best friend and companion in a Roland Emmerich inspired world?
Midget
Artificial Intelligent Computer
Dog
Woman
Chuck Norris
6. What is the best weapon to tote around in hell-on-earth?
Shotgun
Pistol
Sword or other Bladed weapon
Rocket Launcher
Scifi Beam Weapon Thingie.
7. You see a buxom slave girl surrounded by mutant frog men ready to breed more amphibihumans. What do you do?
Forget her. I got other things to worry about.
Charge right in the middle of those toadies and get me some frog legs
Blast them from afar and disappear into the night
Blitz into their midst, grab the girl and haul ass
Saunter up to the group and growl, "Why doncha lick someone your own size, tadpoles?"
8. You have infiltrated the evil lair of the 70's Abba Tribute army. You see the powerful Xanadu machine, in which whoever controls, controls the world. What do you do?
Pop a few rounds into the contraption and escape
Turn the volume dial up to 11 and hit play. Coz 11 is one better than 10!
Eliminate the guards, don the irridescent pants and sing the song to control the army
Steal a tank and ram into the machine
Xanadu! Really?! Hell, I'm just gonna join this army...
9. You see Ernest Borgnine. What do you do?
Kill him.
Tease him.
Hitch a ride in his taxi
Spend the day chatting about Air Wolf
Wait. Isn't he dead?
10. What is the ideal hair style after the apocalypse?
Clean shaven
Caveman like hair and beard
Mullet
Pompadour
Mohawk
11. Once your post-apocalyptic life is made into a movie, what music will be on your soundtrack?
R&B and Rap
Classic Rock
New Agie, haunting synth tunes
The best of Chicago
Speed/Death metal
12. After years of sweat, toil, violence and blood, you discover a secret paradise, a veritable Garden of Eden. What do you do?
Mark where it is, return to the wasteland to bring as many survivors there as possible.
Rush right in and enjoy a peaceful, relaxing life for what remaining years I have left.
Just walk away. I enjoy the wasteland way too much.
Stand at the entrance, taking in the scenery, then hefting out my flame thrower and burn the f---ing place down.
Sorry. I'm going to Disneyland.

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