Are You Codependent?

Many people have heard the word "Codependent" but don't really understand what it means. Codependency is a word used to describe unhealthy boundaries in relationships. Most of the time these unhealthy boundaries begin in childhood, where the family engages in a pattern of chaotic, unpredictable, unstable, and possibly hostile behaviors.

Children who grow up in these environments learn that it's not safe to trust or even to talk about the problems. They may become their parents' caretakers, especially if they are in an alcoholic or abusive family. As a result they learn to survive in this environment, but the unhealthy patterns of relating to others follow them into their adult relationships.

Created by: Michelle E. Vasquez, LPC of Michelle Vasquez, Relationship Specialist
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1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. It's hard for me to identify my feelings.
Yes
No
4. It's hard for me to express my feelings.
Yes
No
5. I find it hard to form close relationships.
Yes
No
6. I feel like everything has to be just right all the time.
Yes
No
7. Everything has to be done in a certain kind of way, or it doesn't feel right.
Yes
No
8. I don't like change.
Yes
No
9. I feel like I have to be responsible for other people's behavior or their feelings.
Yes
No
10. I feel bad if other people don't approve of me.
Yes
No
11. Sometimes I worry so much about a decision that I get stuck or I spend hours awake at night worrying about it.
Yes
No
12. Sometimes I feel that nothing I do makes a difference.
Yes
No
13. I feel bad about myself much of the time.
Yes
No
14. I feel like I fail at most everything I do.
Yes
No
15. I get jealous very easily.
Yes
No
16. I put others' needs before me, even if it hurts me.
Yes
No
17. I need lots of reassurance to feel okay about myself.
Yes
No
18. I have a hard time being apart from the people that I love.
Yes
No
19. I often feel worthless.
Yes
No
20. I tend to idealize, then demonize the person I love, sometimes in the same day.
Yes
No
21. Whenever I'm unhappy, I will drink, take drugs, overeat, go on a shopping spree, engage in unsafe sex, gamble, or do other inappropriate behaviors which I regret later.
Yes
No
22. I'm often so afraid of bad things happening to the people I care about that I tend to be overprotective.
Yes
No
23. When I'm in a relationship I want to be with that person 24 hours a day. As a result, I'm often accused of smothering.
Yes
No
24. I have a hard time trusting people.
Yes
No
25. I'm at my best when I'm doing things for other people.
Yes
No
26. People tend to take advantage of me when I do nice things for them.
Yes
No
27. It's not okay to do things for myself; that's selfish.
Yes
No
28. I was always expected to be the perfect child in my family of origin.
Yes
No
29. It's best if I don't talk about my personal problems.
Yes
No
30. When I do things just for myself, I feel guilty.
Yes
No
31. If I just try harder, I know that things will get better.
Yes
No
32. If I don't take care of things they just won't get done.
Yes
No

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