Will I crap my pants?

Life is full of tough decisions. Many of us are faced with complex tasks and responsibility beyond the scope of our imagination. There are times when even our own bodies can intrigue and confuse us. Sometimes even the question of whether or not we are about to crap our pants can confound us. For those times, there is this quiz.

This quiz is not designed to diagnose or treat any serious medical condition. If you have serious concerns about your ability to discern bodily functions then visit your physician, and godspeed.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. What type of food did you eat for your last meal?
Mexican
Chinese
Thai
Italian
Salad
Chili-dogs
4. Do you have a history of this sort of thing?
Yes
No
I don't know
5. What sound is your stomach making?
No sound
burrr
vroom
blup blup
wheee
6. How often do you leave streaks in your briefs?
Never
Once
Occasionally
All the time
7. What is your personality type?
Loose
Uptight
Easygoing
Pain in the Ass
8. What's your favorite type of chocolate?
Hershey's Special Dark
Nestle Crunch
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Tootsie Rolls
9. What is your favorite type of sandwich?
Grinder
Slider
Po-Boy
White Castle
10. How many times a day do you move?
0
1
2
4
8
11. How mobile are you right now?
Upright and alert
Sitting and tired
Laying down and drowsy
Drunk and/or high
Immobilized
12. What statement would best describe you?
I pop laxatives like candy
I'm into enema experimentation
People describe me as anal
Just got back from a chili cook-off

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