Which Old World Nation are You?

Have you ever wondered where your forefathers came to this great nation from? Well, you probably already know, and for all I know, you might not be American in the first place.

Try not to think about that as you're taking this quiz. Warning: if you don't have a good sense of humor about your heritage, don't take this quiz, because if I'm right, you're gonna be pissed.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Best booze:
Whiskey
Vodka
Red wine
Ale
Antifreeze
4. You dance more:
Not at all, too fat
Extravagently
Unremarkably
Like I'm drunk, even if I'm not
Gracefully
5. Let's say you've got a new job. Without knowing what it is, what do you think you'd most likely be bringing to work?
Cleaver
Hammer
Bowtie
Paper
Garbage truck
6. Would you rather:
Own your own crappy house
Live in a beautiful apartment
Live in a crappy apartment next to the pub
Live in a box and burn down someone else's house just for the Hell of it
Live in Trenton
7. Let's say you're living on a farm and the crops fail. You've planned for this. You can back yourself up with:
Pork
A loan
Pawning some stuff
All I need to survive is booze
Jack s---
8. What would you rather have for dessert?
Gelato
Chocolate cake
Blueberry whichamacallits
More booze
A prostitute
9. You know songs about:
Food, women, and booze
Women and booze
Most everything
Whatever Boston and Journey sing about, which I don't know, because I listen to them when I'm high, which is all the friggin' time
Other
10. Would you describe your eyes as:
Squinty
Wide-open so you can see things to shout about
Cloudy and drunken
Pleasant
None of the above
11. Let's say you're put in charge of some sort of project that's not doing well. Do you:
Get someone you hardly know to take your place
Have a cow and browbeat everyone until you're hoarse
Try to fix it yourself, if not, then get someone you hardly know to take care of it
Take everyone to the pub
Not get yourself into this situation in the first place because you stayed at home looking at internet p---
12. Describe your parents.
Loving and nurturing
Used me for manual labor, otherwise absent
Strict and involved
Spent all day at the bar
Good cooks
Wear too much cologne

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