Which Big-Four Team Is Yours?

So you want to get into Premier League soccer? You'll need to pick a team. I've limited your choices to the league's dominant "Big Four" -- Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, and Manchester United -- because what's the point of a European rooting for the Kansas City Royals?

Questions are based on the various elements of each team's "personality": what sort of neighborhood it represents, what it's like to go to one of its games, how its organization approaches building a team. It should leave you with an answer so definitive that you should feel guilty rooting for anyone else.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Where is your team located?
A huge metropolitan area
An industrial port city
4. What's the spirit of your team's neighborhood?
Industrial or working-class
Posh or 1960's rock-'n'-roll
5. Your team's fans are known for...
an appreciation for greatness and history
a noise volume that shakes the stadium
6. Your organization is known for...
fitting cheap, young players into a system and squeezing out talent
spending big bucks for charismatic stars
7. Your team's style of play emphasizes...
lock-down defense, with extensive passing
an aggressive, fast-paced, offensive game
8. It is important to you that your team's biggest stars be...
British
from all over Europe
9. The best kind of stadium is...
old, cramped, and intimate
new, spacious, and grand
10. Your team's history is...
rich with trophies
a work in progress
11. Today, it is more important to be successful...
in the English Premier League
in Europe
12. If your team were widely considered "boring"...
as long as you were winning, you wouldn't care at all
it might bother you just a little
13. The best kind of coach is...
a jolly, friendly Englishman
a wily, almost mystical foreigner
14. More than anything else, your team's personality is characterized by its...
quiet professionalism
swagger

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