The Were You Born on the Wrong Side of the Border Quiz

Are you proud to be an American or do you frequently wish you could start your own island and populate it with Barbara Streisand and Sean Penn? Do you love spending time in the No Spin Zone or is Amy Goodman your secret crush?

When you go to foreign countries do you pretend to be Canadian? Is being American your secret shame, like eating Little Debbies or watching Maury Povitch? Do you proudly wear a tiny American flag on your lapel or are you busy saving your money for a one-way ticket outta here?

Created by: Birkie of MySpace
(your link here more info)

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. When you see an American flag, you:
Smile and reminisce about the day when a kid could say the Pledge of Allegiance without some attention-seeking parent turning it into a federal case.
Feel relief. Thank God there's a Perkins nearby, you were starving.
Remember some wild Fourth of July parties and wonder why something as archaic as liquor stores being closed on Sundays is still in effect.
Remember you still need to protest the treatment of the Gitmo prisoners.
4. Your position on illegal immigration:
We need illegals to do the work that Americans refuse to do. Which is considerable, when you consider the laziness of Americans.
I don't like the idea of a wall on the borders, but at the same time maybe we need one.
You agree with Dennis Miller: we don't mind if you come over, we just want you to sign the guestbook first.
Sign the guestbook, and if you won't, then we'll put up a wall and patrol the border with the National Guard to make sure you do.
5. Celebrities who use award shows as a forum to express a political agenda:
Maybe it's not the best time or place, but I'm not sure there's anything wrong with that..
Shut up and sing.
It's called Freedom of Speech.
Publicity stunt. Bashing the president gets more attention than thanking your mom and your director and God for making this lifelong dream come true.
6. Your first thought when you hear the word "football."
David Beckham coming to America is going to be great for MLS!
I'm not really into sports, but I do watch the SuperBowl for the commercials.
Bear down, Chicago Bears.
A testosterone-ridden painful display of male brutality.
7. What is your primary mode of transportation?
A bike. I'm not going to contribute to the depletion of our already limited resources.
A hybrid. Good car.
An SUV. I like being king of the road.
I get kind of car sick, but I will take the bus if I'm not within walking distance.
8. Have you ever or would you ever consider serving in a branch of the armed forces?
Of course!
I'm all for serving my country, but maybe I could join the Peace Corps?
Only so I could refuse to be deployed in an illegal war,
I would join if I could be a medic or chaplain, something where I was helping other soldiers.
9. Have you ever felt sorry for the Dixie Chicks?
I just feel sorry that there aren't more Americans as intelligent and articulate as these fine women.
I do, because I love people who are unafraid to tell it like it is! But I don't think it's right to talk smack about the President.
I think it's unreasonable for people to react to their political views by burning their cds.
I've often felt sorry that if not for their incredibly talented stylists they'd be ugly in addition to stupid.
10. How do you feel about the word "God" on your money?
It doesn't hurt anything. People are looking more at the numbers on their money than the words.
That is so unnecessary and downright offensive!
The word "God" is on my money? Oh hey, you're right...
It's perfect. People who have a problem with it don't have big enough problems.
11. Do you think there's anything to the 911 conspiracy theories?
I think Dubyah knew he'd be a one term President and did what he had to do to win a second election and attack Iraq.
I haven't heard anything about a conspiracy theory.
Those theories are right up there with alien abductions and Elvis sightings.
Those who advocate a conspiracy pose some interesting points, but I don't think the government is capable of keeping that kind of secret.
12. Do you like the movie "A Christmas Story?"
I watch the TNT marathon every year!
That ridiculous excuse for a holiday classic advocates gun use. NO.
I don't really get into movies, but isn't that the one where a bell rings and Tiny Tim gets his wings?
It's great! And the kid who got his tongue stuck on the flagpole grew up to be in dirty movies.

1. What is your age?

Under 18 Years Old

18 to 24 Years Old

25 to 30 Years Old

31 to 40 Years Old

41 to 50 Years Old

51 to 60 Years Old

Over 60 Years Old

2. What is your gender?

Male

Female

3. When you see an American flag, you:

Smile and reminisce about the day when a kid could say the Pledge of Allegiance without some attention-seeking parent turning it into a federal case.

Feel relief. Thank God there's a Perkins nearby, you were starving.

Remember some wild Fourth of July parties and wonder why something as archaic as liquor stores being closed on Sundays is still in effect.

Remember you still need to protest the treatment of the Gitmo prisoners.

4. Your position on illegal immigration:

We need illegals to do the work that Americans refuse to do. Which is considerable, when you consider the laziness of Americans.

I don't like the idea of a wall on the borders, but at the same time maybe we need one.

You agree with Dennis Miller: we don't mind if you come over, we just want you to sign the guestbook first.

Sign the guestbook, and if you won't, then we'll put up a wall and patrol the border with the National Guard to make sure you do.

5. Celebrities who use award shows as a forum to express a political agenda:

Maybe it's not the best time or place, but I'm not sure there's anything wrong with that..

Shut up and sing.

It's called Freedom of Speech.

Publicity stunt. Bashing the president gets more attention than thanking your mom and your director and God for making this lifelong dream come true.

6. Your first thought when you hear the word "football."

David Beckham coming to America is going to be great for MLS!

I'm not really into sports, but I do watch the SuperBowl for the commercials.

Bear down, Chicago Bears.

A testosterone-ridden painful display of male brutality.

7. What is your primary mode of transportation?

A bike. I'm not going to contribute to the depletion of our already limited resources.

A hybrid. Good car.

An SUV. I like being king of the road.

I get kind of car sick, but I will take the bus if I'm not within walking distance.

8. Have you ever or would you ever consider serving in a branch of the armed forces?

Of course!

I'm all for serving my country, but maybe I could join the Peace Corps?

Only so I could refuse to be deployed in an illegal war,

I would join if I could be a medic or chaplain, something where I was helping other soldiers.

9. Have you ever felt sorry for the Dixie Chicks?

I just feel sorry that there aren't more Americans as intelligent and articulate as these fine women.

I do, because I love people who are unafraid to tell it like it is! But I don't think it's right to talk smack about the President.

I think it's unreasonable for people to react to their political views by burning their cds.

I've often felt sorry that if not for their incredibly talented stylists they'd be ugly in addition to stupid.

10. How do you feel about the word "God" on your money?

It doesn't hurt anything. People are looking more at the numbers on their money than the words.

That is so unnecessary and downright offensive!

The word "God" is on my money? Oh hey, you're right...

It's perfect. People who have a problem with it don't have big enough problems.

11. Do you think there's anything to the 911 conspiracy theories?

I think Dubyah knew he'd be a one term President and did what he had to do to win a second election and attack Iraq.

I haven't heard anything about a conspiracy theory.

Those theories are right up there with alien abductions and Elvis sightings.

Those who advocate a conspiracy pose some interesting points, but I don't think the government is capable of keeping that kind of secret.

12. Do you like the movie "A Christmas Story?"

I watch the TNT marathon every year!

That ridiculous excuse for a holiday classic advocates gun use. NO.

I don't really get into movies, but isn't that the one where a bell rings and Tiny Tim gets his wings?

It's great! And the kid who got his tongue stuck on the flagpole grew up to be in dirty movies.

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The Were You Born on the Wrong Side of the Border Quiz

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