The Richter Scale

There are many smart people, but few rank highly on the Richter Scale. Genius is, afterall, quite exceptional. High rankers on the Richter Scale can consider themselves to be above average. Except in the areas of Bollywood trivia and lawn tennis.

Do you have the stamina and the guts to test your skill on the Richter Scale? Until now you could only wonder if you would dare. But thanks to this great quiz, in just a few minutes you will find out!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Which of the following is true?
Guns don't kill people; people kill people.
Tea bags take a long time to compost.
There is never a bad time for pudding.
When in doubt, vote 'em out.
Shelf fungus grows on particle-board bookcases.
Squirrels are nature's little speedbumps.
4. What is the best thing to say to your mother in the morning?
Good morning, mother. Here is some coffee.
Rise and shine.
Get on the stick.
Let's go to Walmart.
Good morning, mother. Here is some eggs benedict.
Get up! The wheel stops for no hamster.
5. What is the best way to exercise?
Do cardio first, then lift weights.
Wear lifting gloves and a weight belt.
Do lat pull-downs behind your head.
Do high kicks and shimmies.
Run around parking lot 3x with rocks in pants.
Do straight-leg sit ups.
6. What is proper race-day attire?
Wear the race-day shirt.
Wear a matching track suit.
Wear cotton.
Wear a lighthouse costume.
Wear a fuel belt.
Wear performance-fiber underwear and lube up your nipples.
7. What do you call a little guy whose arms and legs keep falling off?
A pyschiatrist
Tom Cruise
A lepercaun
A golfer
A sufferer of bursitis
A shrubbery
8. What is the appropriate response when you smell a skunk in the middle of the night?
Close the window
Hide the rat food
Evacuate the house and call the fire department
Burn Incense
Snack
Spritz perfume
9. Which of the following is illegal at least two days a week?
Vigorous exfoliation
Driving a bright orange vehicle with no brakes
Painting lawn jockeys white
Writing notes on the bottoms of cafeteria trays
Driving through the Holland Tunnel with two Jewish people strapped to the bumper
Blowing up telephone booths
10. What do you call barf that moves?
Volent vomit
Mobile
Hurl
Spew
Fickle
Chuck wagon
11. What is the granny gear for?
Sissies
Going up big hills
Going faster on a motorized wheelchair
Knitting and sometimes crocheting
Backpacking in the alps or other notable alpine areas
Shopping for curtains that coordinate with floral-patterned sofas
12. It's not easy being...
green
overwhelmed
bloated
freakish
drunk
flatuous

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