The quiz for people who breathe

If you breathe then you can take this quiz. Do YOU breathe? I for one like breathing. Sometimes i do so all day long. At night i try to keep it down so that i don't wake the neighbours. If you also breathe then step right up and do the necessary. You know it makes sense.

If you want to know what the universe thinks you are then take the quiz and find out! If not, why not draw me a picture of a ferris wheel and email a scanned copy to my hotmail? Can't draw? Never mind. Why not post me all your money and i'll count it for you. Promise i'll give it back in a couple of days all sorted and in pristine condition.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. It is possible to have a five sided square because...
You are horrendously drunk
You see dead people
Your mummy's name is Winifred
Time and space are screwed
Bono says so
The power of Christ compels you
4. Which church believes that there were once locomotives on the surface of Mars?
The Catholic Church
Charlotte Church
Simon Birch (rhymes with church)
The Church of England
The Church of Latter day paints
The Church of Scientology
5. Death is the end...or is it? Who stated that, 'Death is but a canvas onto which to paint your bloody corpse?' Was it...
Lionel Rich Tea
Denise Van Oat Cake
The Hobnobit
Emerson Lake and Balmcake
6. Which of the following has the smallest hands?
A pixie
A leprechaun
A nelf
A dwarf
A dolfhitler
7. Running with scissors is a good idea because...
You can cut things much faster
It looks cool
It makes you more aerodynamic cutting down on drag
walking would be too slow
8. 'A History of Violence' is a bad movie because...
Every scene was shot in slow motion
David Cronenburg was directing whilst suffering amnesia
That fella from Lord of the Rings couldn't act for toffees
The critics loved it
9. George Orwell wrote the famous book...?
Planet of the Grapes
Bonfire of the manatees
Nineteen Eighty-Four
Sleek Mouse
10. You've just woken up and realised that instead of writing up that report for this morning's meeting you've actually just created a pool of unwanted saliva. Your excuse is that...
Darth Vader needed personal directions to the Death Star
You were abducted by beings from Uranus
The rotting corpse of Beryl Reed needed some lovin'
The Pope needed toilet paper
11. The most common cause of death in the UK is..?
Somersaulting into the path of and subsequently being hit by a jumbo Jet whilst dressed as Mickey Mouse
Tripping into a bowl of soup and drowning in your own sauce
Freezing whilst taking a leak in a wind tunnel
Getting caught between two atoms in a particle accelerator
12. Which of the following is not a real movie title?
City of Cod
The Motor-home diaries
The Unbearable Tightness of Keyrings
Toy Boy Story

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