How Joe are you?

The great prophet Joe once wrote that "a good mother's day present, makes a very good father's day present." Bear that in mind as you examine the world around you.

Will the exalted prophet Joe reserve a place for you in his wonderful plan for the world, or will he cast you out like the insidious menace that you are?

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Can you weigh a plane down with grass?
Yes, of course. Grass has mass, therefore enough grass can prevent a plane from reaching takeoff speed.
No.
I bet grass does some scary stuff.
The what now?
4. A is for...?
Asbestos
Anthea Turner
Eh?
5. You draw the line at...?
the loss of self esteem for proffessional gain.
cash for honours.
Penises.
6. Do you like Greenday?
Yes, I really love all their stuff.
Wake me up when september ends? That song sucks.
I tolerate them.
7. Do you like 'A lighter shade of pale?'
I dislike all shades, pale or otherwise.
I love that tune.
Forget pale! Blue, man! The horror! The horror!
That reminds me of the time I got slashed on vodka.
8. How shall we get into town?
Let's catch the bus!
Jon will give you a lift!
Who is this 'we' you are refering to?
9. What do you consider unimaginable fun?
A trip down to the local nightclub, full of foxy women and cheap drinks, and cheap women!
Cream Eggs
A watermelon.
Penises
10. What can improve practically anything?
Brownies
Holes
Fire
Unfortunate mishaps.
11. How do you like to eliminate your enemies?
I shrink them.
I remove the top layer.
I have no enemies, I am loved by all!
I kill them many times.
12. Alex?
Alex is in my debt.
Alex will be the first up against the wall when I come to power.
Alex will be first up against the wall when I feel a little frisky.
Alex was sired by me in the time of troubles.
13. What is the greatest anomaly in the field of modern physics?
My old science teacher, who kept souls in a box.
The neutrino
Teabags
The power of love
14. How did you arrive on this planet?
Through a cheese explosion.
I've always been here.
Through an immaculate conception.
Jon gave me a lift.
15. What is your relationship with God?
I believe in the existence of a deity or supernatural power, but not necessarily that of the Judeo-Christian religion.
God does not exist.
God is merely another pawn in my game.
I am the father of his son.
16. Are you Joe?
I am Joseph Mills, look upon me.
I am but a humble acolyte.
Thou shalt not test the Lord!
I'm telling you. You'll only quote my answer.

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