How Do You Think?

Have you ever been asked, "What're you thinking about," and answered, "I dunno?" Do you have trouble deciding between the meatloaf and the Swedish meatball special? Do you wake up in the middle of the night with cold sweats wondering what some guy over the internet has to say about your personality? If so, this is the quiz for you!!!

Subjects will recieve one of... I don't remember how many personality and thought descriptor categories on the basis of interests, opinions, social interation, and that sort of whatnot.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. How many pre-post-modernist cubey impressionmaker artists can you name?
None
Several
Over nine thousand
4. A peer of yours, clearly not serious, says something to the effect of, "I'm gonna kill you if you don't share your bubblegum." Are you pissed? If so, at whom?
No
Yes, at him or her
Yes, at bureaucrats
Yes, other
5. What do you think about gun control?
Most gun control is misguided nonsense which removes the subject's rightful ability to defend himself
Any gun control is malicious machinization aimed at eliminating the common man's right to have an anti-zombie arsenal in his basement to further the government's iron grip
Any gun control could be either of the above
Limited gun control is appropriate to curb crime and irresponsibility
It is unnecessary and dangerous for private citizens to carry firearms
Guns are the dev ill
6. Who's a deeper thinker, Wittgenstein or Nietzche?
Wittgenstein
Nietzche
Not sure
Trick question, neither have ever been capable of thought
Who? What?
7. What do you think about the basic existence of modern healthcare?
Seems fine to me
Healthcare is the devil
8. Let me take this opportunity to acknowledge that the title sucks, but all of the good ones were taken.
Waffles
Worchershire Sauce
Whoopie Pie
9. Do you have any Viking ancestry?
Yes
No
10. Who would make a better world leader?
Ronnie James Dio
Aesclipivs
Fenrir
Thanatos
The hippie teacher from Beavis & Butthead
The guidance counsellor from South Park
11. Are you a corpulent, miserable derelict?
YES
No
12. Which of these is the largest part of human development?
Learning to adhere to boundaries
Learning to think for oneself
Learning to accept nonsense
Learning to reject nonsense
Learning to properly express one's emotions
Learning to stifle one's emotions
13. Are you fascinated by tinfoil?
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
Somewhat
14. Which Metalocalypse character, of these, do you most identify with?
Dr. Twinkletits
Mustakrakish
The wolves who ate Dr. Twinkletits
Reverend Aslaug Wartooth
Vater Orlaag
What?
15. Do you know the difference between Úlfhéðnar and Berserkrs?
Yes
I thought they were the same
I have no Friggin clue
16. Have you ever snorted sulfur?
Yes
No
17. If you were put in charge of developing a roleplaying game, would you see that Pinball Wizard would be one of the classes?
YES
No
18. Which of these do you think your humble narrator most likely is?
A deranged Montana militiaman
A sleep-deprived teenager with too much free time
The bane of humanity
Some kind of weird hippie
Totally stoned
All of the above
19. The next few questions will ask whether and how closely you agree with a statement.
1 is adamantly
2 is yes
3 is somewhat
4 is no
5 is adamantly not
This question has no effect.
20. "It is shameful that humans, who generally think themselves very sage compared to other animals, are eager to and will rationalize allowing themselves to be subjugated to the domain of other humans."
1
2
3
4
5
21. "I can debate the merits of anarcho-primitivism versus anarcho-syndicalism."
1
2
3
4
5
22. "I can make a better quiz than this, and I'm not the man who made it."
5
5
5
5
5
23. "I know many ways to kill a man with his own cufflinks."
1
2
3
4
5
24. "I would rather kill something to eat than buy it at the grocery."
1
2
3
4
5
25. "The Zombie Survival Guide offers simplistic and sometimes absurd advice on options for weaponry."
1
2
3
4
5
26. "...especially in the cases of the shotgun, bow, and bayonet."
1
2
3
4
5

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