How 'chav' are YOU?

There are more and more Chavs apearing all over the country, sporting their fake Burbury clothes whilst talking to their mates on that stolen phone on their way to kindergarten where their little boy Chesney will wait patiently, fag-in-hand for mummy to finish hert GCSE's.

Are YOU a Chav? do you wear the latest Rockport shoes to match the brand new reebok trakkies you knicked from allsports? Or do you sit at home on a rainy day, sipping brandy from a crystal glass and listning to shostacovich? Take this test to find out!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. What colour socks do you mostly wear?
White
Black
Navy Blue
4. What is your favourite music?
Classical
Metal
Dance
Trance
Country and Western
Pop
5. If you walked by an old woman leaving a post office, what would you do?
Give a polite nod and say hello
Brandish a knife and say "give me your money"
walk by and ignore her
happy slap her on your mobile and show all your mates
say "hello gran"
6. if you saw a car you really wanted, what would you do?
Save up
get a bank loan
"i'll never be able to afford that"
key it
hot wire it and go for a joyride
7. some one accidentally bumps in to you in the street... what do you do?
turn around and appologise for something that really wasnt your fault
punch him/her
"watch were your going"
happy slap said person and show all your mates
8. when you were 15 and couldnt get in the pubs, what did you and your mates drink in the park?
carling
heineken
white lightning
iron brew
anything out of a bottle
coke
9. Every one has a hoodie... Which brand do you wear?
Nike
Reebok
Special type e.g. university hoodie
Animal
O'Neil
Don't own one
10. What is your preferred method of transport
Car
Bike
Bus
Taxi
BMX
Walk
11. What car would you most likly buy?
Mondeo
Fiesta XR2i
Saxo
Volvo estate
Corsa
Anything
12. What would you most likly call your child?
Chelsea
Dave
Baz
Johnny
William
Nez
13. Where would you take your girl/boyfriend on valentines day?
London
Italian Restaurant
Wetherspoons
McDonalds
Runcorn
Local Park
14. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
<14
15-17
18-21
21-25
25+
still in my V-plates
15. Where did you loose it
My bedroom
Parents Bedroom
Local Park
School Bike sheds
B&B
B&Q
16. When you pull on a night out where do you take your partner?
Your place
There place
Mens room
17. What do you normally buy off the black guy in the gents toilets?
Nothing
Soap and Towel
Aftershave
Couple of 'E's
18. What is your ratio of sports wear to exercise? e.g. you have 5 tracksuit bottoms & you have only exercised once in your life = ratio of 5:1
100:1
50:1
50:50
5:100
1:100
dont own sports wear
19. How much jewelrey do you wear daily
a neckalce made of string
the odd ring
silver necklace
gold necklace
toe ring
Mr T
20. Where did you get your mobile phone?
Brand Shop
Fones4U
CarPhone Warehouse
JJB
Nicked it
21. Who do you love the most?
Tony Blair
George Bush
George Michael
Michael Jackson
Ali G
22. What do you hate the most?
The Police
Students
Security Guards
Firemen
Teachers
Work
23. Red Squirrels are a rare site nowadays... if you saw one what would you do?
Kick it
Take a photo if that chav hadnt robbed my camera
film it on my phone if that chav hadnt robbed my phone
whats a red squirrel
what does nowadays mean?
24. Because there is an increased risk of STD's around, what precautions do you take when 'knobbing your bird'
Its called Making love!
Wear a condom
Whats a condom?
i like it bear back!
ive already got every disease under the sun
I dont... im gay
25. Where do you go food shopping?
Waitrose
Booths
Sainsburys
Tesco
Iceland
Netto
26. What newspaper do you read the most?
Times
Independant
Guardian
Sun
Daily Star/Mirror
Can't read

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• Are you more emo or chav? by Mollie
• How much do you hate chavs? by Jason
• What are the chances of you becoming a chav? by Nick Thornton

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