1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old 2. What is your gender? Male Female 3. Before we get down to business, some background. Are you a wetter/desperation fan? A what? Oooh, don't say "wet", I think I'm going to pee my pants! Definitely. Nope. I can give or take. 4. Now, before we start the activities (oh yes, you're going to have to do things for this quiz!), right now, how bad would you call your need to pee? Not much. Kind of bad. I feel pressure, I'd really like a toilet... I just sneezed and looked down and there's a wet spot! I think it's bad! OOH so awful!! I can hardly hold on!! I think I'm peeing myself!!!!! Oh, false alarm, but HURRY UP, I'M DYING! 5. Now, Activity one. Spread your legs and push down on your stomach. Stay this way as long as you can. What happened? Nothing... I felt a bit uncomfortable, but anyone would if they pressed down on their stomach, right? I could stay that way for a bit but had to let go. Oh, that was bad! Couldn't stay that way for long! A wet spot appeared as soon as I spread my legs, I couldn't do it!! OMG I just spurted so bad! The seat's all wet, but I'm still hanging in there. Oh, did I mention I never actually started the activity? 6. You have had __ to drink since the last time you peed? A cup, maybe two. Not much. The usual amount, more than average but nothing outrageous. More than normal, some caffeine, some soda... Come to think of it, a ton! Oog, now I feel worse.. Morning: 6 cups of coffee. Noon: Bottle of water, 2 juices. Afternoon: Glass of milk, smoothie, some tea. Evening: Warm milk, the remains of a couple open Gatoraides I forgot about... something like that. DON'T. SAY. THE. WORK. DRINK. WHILE. I'M. IN. THIS. STATE. 7. Activity two. Stand up. Put your feet about a foot apart. Now, stre-e-etch! Reach up toward the ceiling. Don't hunch over! Work really, really hard at it. Okay. Now, you felt what? Nothing... A bit uncomfortable, but mostly because I'm not flexible. I think I felt a little wetness, but upon closer inspection didn't find anything. The stretching made me feel pressurized, though. I got my underwear wet, but it didn't soak through to my pants. The stretching kind of hurt, I only stretched for a second. A big fat wet spot appeared as soon as I got up. I sat right back down- it hurt! Are you kidding me? As soon as I took my feet/hands away from the danger zone, I nearly burst! No, sir, no getting up for me! 8. These next few questions will ask you what you would do in the given scenarios. First one: You're hiking in the woods and are dying to pee- but obviously it's the woods so no toilets are around. You know you can't make it to a bathroom, so you try to go behind a bush. No such luck! You're zipper's stuck tight; when you yank on it, it breaks off in your hand and you discover thread tangled in the zipper's teeth. There's no way, short of a chainsaw, that you're getting those jeans off. What now? Can't picture it happening to me, but if it did, I'd probably squat, do my thing, and cover up with a jacket. Tell my friends before just letting go. They can't exactly get mad or anything, i't's not like I did it on purpose! Just let go, pretend it was an accident. What else can you do? Hold on as long as I can. Which reminds me, I really need to go! Oh, my gosh, a wet spot just appeared while I was thinking about it. Spare me! I SAID, DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT WHILE I'M- oops! Spurted! 9. Second scenario: Car trip! You passed the last restroom on the way to the middle of nowhere a while ago, and now you have to pee something awful. You're out in the country, so the roads are all fenced in by corn- no way of pulling over. The car's super-clean, not a container to pee in anywhere. You.. Again, honestly? Who would that happen to? I guess I would just have to car stop in the middle of the road. It's a country road, right, so not too many people. And besides, it was an emergency! Stick my butt out the window. Weird, maybe, but who's around to see it? Squat in the back of the car and use something to mop it up. But do you really have to go into so much detail? I have to pee, here, and you're not helping! Crouch on the floor of the car and wet myself, then change if there's another pair of pants. Oh, that story made my wet spot bigger! I can't think about it right now, sorry! WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS ALREADY!! 10. Enough of the scenarios. How about another activity? Activity three: find old pair of panties, ones that you don't care about throwing away. Lock yourself in bathroom. Put on underwear. Sit on toilet. Run finger under tap. Turn on shower. Relax everything. Try to start peeing, but then catch yourself right before you do. How'd that go? What's to pee, you sicko? A bit boring, I felt kind of foolish. Didn't do much for me. That catch-yourself-before-peeing thing made me really need to pee, but it wore off. Ooh, I couldn't stop myself at first, those underwear have a wet spot! Was able to stop myself- after peeing so much in my underwear that I dribbled! Couldn't stop for the longest time! Puddle on floor! But I STILL have to pee!! 11. You near any running water? Turn it on full-force, and do the stretching thing again. Now, describe how you feel. Fine. Bit uncomfortable. Need to go now... Ohh, I really need to go!!! Ow, that hurt! Please, please, PLEASE let me go pee now! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12. What do you suppose would happen if you sneezed really violently right now? I'd need a tissue... Probably not much. I might hurt, but I could handle it. The would be bad at this point... Ooh, that would be simply AWFUL! I think I would loose control! Oh, look, I spurted again... 13. For one split second, PUSH HARD. No, stop thinking about it! Do it! Now STOP! What happened? Nothing, you idiot. This quiz is dumb. I kind of got a slight increase of pain. I almost spurted- but thank goodness, I saved myself from that indignity! Ooh, I think I wet my undies... I'd better check... OMG there's a huge wet spot! GAAH I'M LOOSING CONTROL! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!