My life as an alphabet
- Locked due to inactivity on Oct 17, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: My life as an alphabet
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I'm using this thread to keep track of myself and my mental health, please do not post.
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AIs for Alexi
Kids are so rude, sometimes it's funny. For one, they make fun of me for changing my name. They wouldn't know what it means to dead name someone, so they do it anyway.
Nobody knows I want to change my gender yet, excepting my mother and sister. So I guess it makes sense why they're do used to calling me by my dead name.The more I think about it, the less confident I am in myself. I'm talented, decent at school, I'm effortlessly good at the clarinet, despite never practicing... But I don't like being called out for being decent or getting awards for it. My art teacher tried to get me to go up to the principal when I did a decent portrait, but I was scared. The fūck is wrong with me?
Sometimes I hate myself, like I've done something wrong. I feel like other people hate me, and that they should. Maybe I'm annoying, and come across as overly confident and self-absorbed. I'm not.I don't want to think about it. -
SIs for suicidal
I don't want to suicide. I'm actually scared of death. But sometimes I like the pain.
Today, I scratched myself nonstop just to feel the pain. 3 hours later and I've still got the red marks on my wrist. I didn't bleed, but the marks are still there.I shouldn't do this to myself. I don't want to worry people. This isn't normal, but I'm too scared to ask for help. I know I shouldn't be, though.
It would be cruel to leave the people who love me, I know that. I don't want to, too. But sometimes hurting myself eases the pain. -
Just me overreacting again :')
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