If you're struggling, this is for you
- Locked due to inactivity on Apr 8, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: If you're struggling, this is for you
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Every single one of us needs attention. Attention, especially from people we care about, is essential to the cultivation of a healthy self image, and it empowers us to grow as individuals. When an caregiver fails to provide for a child's basic needs they develop a "hunger" for it and will seek it in other places. This is a form of childhood neglect and abuse that unfortunately, most children experience in at least once aspect of their life.
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It is not your fault for feeling neglected, nor is it your fault for searching for something to fill the hole of that neglect in some form of external stimuli. Many teens turn to various attention seeking behaviours and that's not [/I] necessarily a bad thing.[/I] A part of maturing however, is learning to take accountability for your behaviours and teach yourself healthy coping mechanisms as well as emotional intelligence.
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It's not your fault that your parents failed you in some ways, and it's okay to want to act out, but just know that there are healthy and unhealthy outlets for the pain you feel. Bullying or harassing others isn't an appropriate way to manage yourself. It is not helpful for you to deceive others in hopes of getting an reaction from you, and if you don't feel like you're getting the emotional reaction you want from people in an online space, then the best thing you can do is recognize that the environment isn't conducive in providing you with the emotional support you probably need.
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The point is, if you're a minor and feel out of control in your life, then here is a list of resources and healthy outlets that won't leave you feeling high and dry.
Join a club at school
I'm serious. Being a part of a community that's bonded around an particular activity is very helpful and can make it a lot easier to make friends at school. If you're in an unsafe environment at home, it can also lead to less time spent at home and more time away and distracted from the things that are bothering you.
develop a hobby
I cannot tell you how amazed I am by how few kids develop independent interests. Developing a hobby is really important as it can really help you discover your purpose in life and help you manage mental illnesses. If you don't feel like you know what the purpose of your life is, odds are it's because you haven't spent enough time exploring your own interests. Hobbies dont have to cost anything either. Finding some podcasts or videos online of various things can help you find niches that interest you without investing in any resources.
learn who/what makes you uncomfortable and don't put up with it.
Just because you're underage shouldn't mean you don't have agency over things that do/don't upset you. If a family member is hurting you it's okay to set healthy boundaries and if you don't feel safe at home, your school counselor can help. Getting away from what's hurting you is critical in your healing journey. You can't heal from a knife wound if the knife is still in you.
start a journal
It sounds corny, but if you don't feel like you can talk to anyone about what's going on then it's okay to talk to yourself. A journal doesn't even have to be for words. You can use stickers, drawings, or even well placed scribbles to express yourself and help you get your emotions out. Being able to see how you're feeling reflected back at you is really important. It can help you from acting out in ways that might hurt others or yourself.
finally, educate yourself on mental illnesses and learn your triggers.
There are an abundant amount of resources online about psychology. Spending some time researching mental illnesses or even just personality theory can help you feel understood. You don't need to be evaluated by a psychologist to know that you're not feeling okay and begining to understand what may be wrong with you is totally free and harmless. Don't go around telling everyone a self diagnosis, but it's okay to learn the traits of certain behaviours so you can keep them in check for yourself. -
Here is a list of resources for mental health:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(800) 273-8255
Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio
(888) 628-9454
Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741741
National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800) 799-7233
Veterans Crisis Line
(800) 273-8255, PRESS 1
Text 838255
National Grad Crisis Line
(877) 472-3457
National Sexual Assault Hotline
(800) 656-4673
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
(800) 422-4453
CDC National HIV and AIDS Hotline
(800) 232-4636
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline
(800) 662-4357
Finally, my friend actually owns a mental health text line called With Love. It's dedicated to sending positive messages and providing support every single day.
Just text hey, to
(213) 894-9590 -
😭🖤
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Thank you so much, this is so kind and considerate of you
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