Story Without A Title
- Locked due to inactivity on Jan 10, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: Story Without A Title
-
Chapter 1
It was a sunny day and the crowd on Northford square was enough to make even the weakest suffocate.
"What's going on there?" Selena asked the shopkeeper as she took her change.
"It looks like they've caught another witch. Better to see them burned alive," the woman said with a grin.
"Like people with powers?" Selena asked with suprised interest.
The shopkeeper leaned against the counter, eying Selena with a look that made her uncomfortable.
"I don't suppose you know anything about this kingdoms rules. They have to die."
Selena was about to say something when the loud sound of a trumpet cut through the air.
"It's time. I'v seen too many of these."
Selena thanked the woman and began the long walk home. She stopped at intervals to look back at the high stakes at the middle of the place. Even from here she could see three helpless figures tied to the stake.
Either they were too tired to resist, or they were already dead, judging how bloody they were. It was simple. They had to die. -
This was the way the Dowager wanted her kingdom.
-
The fact that the figure in the middle was a girl that looked her age made her turn around and throw away the bag of supplies. She sprinted towards the crowd, her trusted sling shot in her left hand. She had known the way it would feel for their families. Her father had been hanged.
She rushed into the crowd, a red fury burning in her eyes as she crashed into it all, pushing, ducking and sliding past the closely packed people. She didn't even stop, even someone hit her.
She eventually made her way to the front, just in time to see the men begin to stack wood at the base of the stake. Taking a few steps forward, she yelled
"Stop!"
Chapter 2
Her voice echoed through the crowd, which was more than she had expected. The men continued their work anyway.
"I am not going to let you kill them." To drive home her point, she put a stone in the sling and slung it hard. Her aim was true. It struck one of the men's forehead. -
The man who was much taller than Selena, stumbled back and cried out, dropping the wood he was holding on the floor. A murmur rose up in the crowd. The other men too, rushed to help the man.
They were distracted. Nothing stood in her way from the stakes. She stepped forward and pulled another sharp stone and shot it at the ropes binding the girl in the middle stake. It was just one rope so it loosened and the girl tumbled and fell down on the earth. Except she stood up as if she had been lying down there.
"Hey! They are getting away!" A rough voice from the shouted.
"Look, another witch!" A woman called out.
One of the men signaled to his fellows.
The girl took long strides towards Selena and laid an arm on her shoulder.
"Thanks, i'll do the rest."
Now the men, swords drawn began to march towards them. They were trapped, the crowd serving as a wall around them. And they would be killed in the middle of it. -
Selena clentched her fists. She throught of her mother, how she would feel if...
Selena was proud that she had at least...
"Come on!" The girl yelled at Selena as she took her arm. The man and woman from the stakes joined them from behind as they charged head on into the crowd.
Chapter 3
The crowd shouted at them as some came forward, hands out to grab.
The girl smashed a man's skull with her elbow then turned out of the way of a sword thrust. Selena kicked a boy's chest then smacked him across the face. They kept running and fighting because to stop would be death.
Selena winced as a sword cut her leg. She turned and punched him in the guts. She got a heavy blow on her head in return. She staggered and fell to the ground hard. The fighting continued and as she raised her head up, she couldn't believe what she saw. -
I think it's a good start to writing!!! I just have a few questions, as my ability to process information is quite weak.
1.) Is Selena a human who just feels bad upon the witch girl?
2.) Is this the same era as the Salem Witch Trials, or is this taking place modern day in a fantasy land?
3.) It was a sunny day and the crowd on Northford square was enough to make even the weakest suffocate.
Does this mean the crowd was large, or that the air is tense? -
I thought it was good!!
-
Thanks guys, especially Neon.
1.Is Selena a human who just feels bad for the witch girl?
Ans: As the story will progress, we will learn that Selena's father was hanged for having powers as Selena had pointed out. It would be correct to say that she acted out of instinct. "The way it would feel for their families."
It tells that Selena has nothing to live for. So in overall, She never had chance to save her father, so she would 'save' this one.
2.(lol, i forgot this one)
Ans: Interesting you should ask. Back in the days, some kingdoms rulers had this religion to excecute those who were said to be witches for who they were. Witch is a more direct term. They just have powers. If you ask me, i'd say to the.. Around the times when sense and knowledge had not spread [1815s]
3.Imagine an activity filled market with more than a thousand people. Like watching a magician perform on the street.
If you have more questions, i'm open. -
There was no one standing. They all lay unmoving, moaning on the floor or worse, dead. She wiped the blood off her mouth.
"Are you alright?" The girl said coming over.
"Just a scratch."
It was an obvious lie as it was. Her lips were swollen and the sword cut was a sore sight to behold. And as for the girl, she was holding a bloody sword. As Selena studied it, the girl raised her second hand and placed it on Selena's leg. When she removed it, it looked as if nothing had ever happened there. The energy flowed in visible blue magical waves to all of her body and she was just as she was.
Selena was stunned.
"I'm Heather. Thank you for saving us."
"Actually, you saved me. I would have been dead by now," Selena replied, then stood up.
"I have to get..."
Home. Her mother was home, so was her five siblings.
"What's wrong?" Heather asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. -
There's a few things that are unclear
1. Is Selena visiting or not? The last part of the story so far makes it seem like she just has to get home like a few blocks away or something.
2. It seems like at first she agrees with the shopkeeper, but then she out of nowhere has a change of heart. I think you need to go just a little more in-depth for why she decided to save Heather.
3. Why did she only want to save the one in the middle?
4. I'm pretty sure a city so much against witches wouldn't just use a single rope to tie them down, their entire torso would be tied to the stake.
5. She must be extremely strong and have excellent aim in order for a rock to cut through the rope. -
Now these are really good questions. I'll find time to answer them later. Thanks:)
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
