Could You Live in China?

I have only lived in China for a little over 18 months...but I believe to cut it, you have to be willing to do a lot of things differently...and throw your expectations out the window!

Do you have what it takes to live here? Hell, do you even have what it takes to visit? Or should you seriously consider staying away from the continent of Asia altogether?

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Are you a vegetarian?
No, bring on the meaty goodness!
No, but I only eat chicken and fish.
Yes, but I eat eggs and dairy.
Yes.
Yes, I am vegan.
4. Are you willing to use a "squatter" toilet?
Yeah, sure. Beats sitting on a seat covered with piss.
Yes, but not in my home.
Yes, but not in public toilets.
Hell no!
What the eff is a "squatter" toilet?
Sure. It strengthens my thighs!
5. Are you willing to throw your toilet paper into a can instead of flushing it?
No way. That's nasty.
Yes, but not the poopy paper.
Sure. Helps the sewer system.
Yes, but not in my home.
6. Are you a self-conscious person?
Yes, very. I HATE people looking at me.
Yes, but I deal with it.
Sometimes.
Not in general, but I occasionally have my days.
Nope, not at all.
No...in fact, I LOVE being stared at!
7. How much do you care about brand names on things that you wear/accessories?
None at all.
If I find something I like that HAPPENS to have a particualr name brand, it's all right.
I can go in for the 'fake' stuff from time to time.
I only wear things that are authentic...D&G, Prada, Fendi, Chanel, etc.
8. Are you a sound sleeper, or do noises wake you up?
I sleep like the dead.
I have trouble falling asleep with noises, but once I am out, I stay out.
I am a very light sleeper.
I wake up at the sound of a pin dropping on the floor.
9. Are you claustrophobic? Do large crowds freak you out?
Yes. Keep me away from all small and crowded spaces!
I can get nervous in large crowds from time to time.
No, not typically.
Hell no! The more the merrier!
I love crowds. They are great for indulging in frotterization.
10. Can you live without a clothes dryer?
Yeah. I grew up with my clothes air-dried.
If I have to...
No way. I need my clothes wearable again the day I wash them.
No. I am addicted to putting my face in freshly-dried towels.
11. Can you deal without fitted sheets or a "top sheet"?
No way! Are you crazy? Such a thing exists?
I could make do. Is it possible to buy elastic and attach it myself?
It wouldn't be the end of the world.
Sure beats sleeping in a cardboard box!
No. I need my fitted sheets.
12. Does the sound of fireworks scare you?
Yes! I run for cover under my bed immediately!
Yeah...a little.
Only when it is unexpected.
No...unless it feels like I am in a war zone.
No. Not at all. Big booms rawk!
13. Are you grossed out by seeing people randomly relieve themselves in public?
Nah. When you gotta go, you gotta go!
Not at all. I join them.
Yes.
Yes. People that do that should be arrested and locked away.
Only when I step in it.
14. Do you like to play drinking games? How about playing dice games?
I hate to drink, but I love my dice!
Bring it on! I can drink anyone under the table and STILL read the dots on dice!
Yes, but only on occasion.
Yes, but only with beer.
I am straightedge.
Hunh?
15. Do you think bare baby bottoms are adorable?
That is perverted.
No way. Keep them covered up!
Aaaaaaaawwwwwww!
I only eat babies.
16. Can you speak Chinese?
Only Cantonese.
Only Mandarin.
Yes, and I can read it, too!
No, but I am willing to learn and give it a try.
No.
No. Why on earth would I ever need to know how??????
17. Can you handle public transportation?
I am totally down with trains, cabs, busses, etc. Just get me there eventually!
No way.
Yes, but no busses.
Cabs are as close as I get.
18. Can you ride a bicycle?
Love it!
Yes, but I won't in the rain or cold.
Yes, but not in the rain.
I can ride a regular bicycle AND an e-bike!
Yes, but only for fun.
No. Never bothered to learn.
19. Are you willing to go to more than one place to do your weekly shopping?
No. I am an all-in-one-stop kind of person.
Of course. I don't need to do everything in one store.
Yes, but I will b---- about it a lot.
What??????? No Wal-Mart Superstore kind of place?
20. Are you willing to have to sign a contract for at least one year wherever you work? And not be able to do the easy two-week notice bit?
No way. I want to be able to quit whenever I want without any consequences.
No. I cannot handle such a commitment.
Sure...can I give 4 weeks' notice?
No problem. Of course I would.
21. How patient of a person are you?
I have the infinite patience of a yogi.
I get easily irritated by having to wait anywhere.
I am about average...for a westerner.
As long as I don't have to wait in a line.
I am pretty damn patient. And I can always find something to make the time pass.
22. Do you enjoy watching movies?
No. They are a waste of time.
Yes, but only in theaters...and I hate subtitles.
Yes, but only in theaters.
Yes, but not pirated ones.
Yes. I currently own 800 DVDs and need more.
Yes.
23. Do you smoke?
Yes, but only cigarettes.
Yes...many things.
No. It is disgusting. I don't like people smoking around me either.
No, but live and let live.
Only socially.
24. Do you like to eat at KFC? (Kentucky Fried Chicken...in case you have been living under a rock)
EeeeeeeeeeeW! Anyone who eats there is a freak!
No.
Of course! It is yummy!
Yes, but I only like it in the States.
25. How many flights of stairs are you willing to walk up to get to your home?
None. Elevators only for me. I don't do stairs.
The more the better! I love random exercise!
Maybe 2 or 3.
No more than 7.
1...and that is pushing it!
26. Does seeing what you will have for dinner while it is still alive freak you out?
Yes! I don't want to see what I am going to eat beforehand!
Yes...and it kills my appetite.
No. It doesn't bother me.
Not at all! I like to play with my food before it gets cooked!
Yes. If I see it, then I will name it...and I cannot eat anything with a name.
27. Are you willing to use a shower that is not enclosed?
Hell no!
Yes...but I will gripe about always having to clean up the water afterward.
Of course. Beats washing outside.
They have showers like that??????????????
Not a problem. As long as I get clean.
28. Are you a larger size than average when it comes to shoes/clothes?
Nope. I am rather petite/slight, actually.
No. I am pretty average for a westerner.
Yes. I am extremely tall and I have big feet.
Yes. I am on the heavy side.
I am about a size 8-10 in women's clothing.
29. Do you like to (at least sometimes) eat street food in the wee hours?
Who the hell stays up that late?
No, I only like to eat at "appropriate" meal times.
Yum!
I like to eat late, but only at restaurants.
30. Can you bargain?
No. I need to know exactly what something costs before I want to buy it.
Yes! I am a master bargainer!
Yes, but I suck at it.
Yes. It can be fun.
No. I hate haggling over prices.
31. Do you take your shoes off when you enter your own or someone else's home?
No way! My shoes are ALWAYS part of my ensemble!
No. My feet stink.
Yes, as long as there are slippers.
Of course! Who knows what I may have stepped in while on the street!
32. How well can you accept/roll with last-minute, totally unexpected changes?
Not well at all.
Sometimes I handle it all right...as long as I have been able to prepare alternatives.
Quite well. I can adjust to pretty much anything.
Changes terrify me. I flip out if anything deviates from the original plan.
I prefer random changes!
I am all about the rolling.
33. Are you willing to have your big yearly holiday in February?
No way. My big holiday should ONLY be at Christmas.
Yes, but only if I can take a week or so to visit my natal town besides February.
Sure. A holiday is a holiday.
No way! I need my holiday during a warmer season!
34. Is your hair anything besides straight?
Nope. Straight as a rod.
Yes, but I keep it short.
Yes, it is extremely curly.
Yes, it is wavy.
35. Do you understand that when someone says, "I love you," they may not always be as serious as you think they are?
No. When someone says that out loud, they MUST mean it.
Yeah...people nowdays tend to go a little fast with that.
Yes, but it still freaks me out if someone I don't know well says it to me.
Of course! It is nice to hear it anyway!
Sure...I say it to people that I have known for just a day or two...even if I don't mean it in a deep, meaningful way.
36. Can you function without an oven?
Sure.
Can I have a microwave?
No way. I am obsessed with baking.
Who lives without an oven?
Sure, as long as I have a stovetop.
37. Can you live without hot water in your kitchen?...and possibly ALL of your sinks?
No way.
Yes, as long as I have a way to boil water.
No problem.
I prefer cold water.
38. Can you live without central air?
Yes.
No way.
Do I get a space heater?
39. Do you think that Chinese food is just fried rice and mu shu pork etc.?
Uh...yeah...duh. And it always comes in cute paper cartons.
Isn't it?
No.
No. It is sweet and sour beef and won tons, too!
Of course not! Where's my jiao zi and duck tongue?!
Of course not. There are MANY different kinds of food in China.
40. Do you have Skype installed on your computer?
What is Skype?
I don't have a computer.
Duh. Who doesn't?
No. I like to pay obscene amounts of money to talk to people long distance on the phone.

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