Are You Canadian?

I make fun of Canada a lot, and this is nothing more than a joke. Of course you all know that I have many canadian loves. But have you wondered if your soul is, like, totally secretly from Canada? This is the only quiz that can help you with your burning questions!

Please remember to take this lightheartedly. I don't want anyone burning roots catalogues in the street in anger, or burning effigies of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. Let's be civilized neighbor-bashing adults and begin!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. When you think of America, what do you think?
It's a place ravaged by bush and unholy conservative a--holes.
It's a nation of idiots.
The above are true, but it's also a place of great diversity and culture.
It's a place with a lot of great indie venues and exciting new artists.
4. How many shirts, sweaters, keychains, stickers, etc do you have with your nation's flag on it?
None.
Hmmm, probably a couple, no more than 7.
Like, 85!!!
I've actually got some cool shirts and stickers for sale at my website.
5. Describe your sense of humor.
I like telling funny and cute stories.
I have a cold, dry wit.
I like sarcasm and dirty jokes.
I like clever word combinations, like "I love you but I've chosen darkness."
6. What do Americans think of Canadians?
They hate Canada, and Canada hates them.
They think of it as a more liberal, progressive version of their country.
They don't really think about Canadians very often. Hardly at all, really.
They think of Montreal as a place a lot of cool bands came from.
7. Have you ever seen a moose?
Yes
No
Is that, like, an animal or something?
8. How do you feel about hunting and guns?
In Canada, people aren't as irresponsible with their firearms.
Guns are a complex issue, but people have the right to own them.
I love them. They're great. Hunting is great too.
Guns, no. Musical saw, yes.
9. The sitcom/film that most accurately describes my life experience is:
The Simpsons, or The Family Guy
Friends
Wag The Dog
Capital Records
10. Which statement is most true for you?
I should be able to say what I want, when I want to say it.
I think that one should be diplomatic with speech.
One should speak in French!
One shouldn't speak, one should sing!
11. On a scale of one to ten, one being very easily, how easily offended are you?
1. I tremble beneath your words.
3
5
7
8
10. You'd have to kill me to get me pissed.
12. You realize this quiz is just a joke, right?
F--- you, if you say something bad about Canada in the end you're dead to me.
Whatever, hopefully one day you'll do something just as critical about America.
Yes, I have a sense of humor about it.
I'll have a laugh about any country any day of the week.

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