Are you a SmartDonkey?

The SmartDonkey Quiz measures just how snide, self-absorbed, and immature you are. This is designed to provide a good yuk but it's entirely possible you'll walk away with a far deeper understanding of yourself or other smartypants you've come to know. Shhh'ya riiiiiight.

Some quick notes: The quiz is not complete. We've put together a quick 10 questions but plan to update and expand over the next few months. (We're lazy, really lazy.) Your age affects your score as life experience counts for a lot. (So says the old guy!) Anyway, enjoy. If you want more smartdonkey wisdom, visit thesmartdonkey on the net -Landon Reed

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. When asked to describe yourself to someone you'd like to impress you respond...
I'm your average Joe/Jill
I'm someone you can trust
I'm kind and funny
I like a good joke like anyone else
I'm a smartdonkey
Why, you need someone to model yourself after?
4. If others were asked to describe you as a person, they'd say...
S/he's a smartdonkey
S/he's nice, normal
S/he's a little kooky
Oh that one is a pain in the neck!
I can take him/her in small doses
S/he's hilarious!
5. The first thought that came to mind for the phrase "tongue in cheek" was... (be honest now)
Cliches are lame
Gross!
Which cheek are we talking about?
It means jokingly.
Answers 2 and 3 came to mind immediately
Answers 1 and 4 came to mind immediately
6. Which TV character represents you best?
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
Roseanne (Barr)
Ari Gold (Entourage)
Ned Flanders (The Simpsons)
Greg House
I'm 2, 3, and 5 (Careful now, this could be a set up ;)
7. You walk into a room and see someone you know fairly well bending over to pick something up. (No one else is in the room) You...
announce yourself with an "ehem".
you shout, "Hey, I didn't know there'd be a full moon today?"
you ask if the person needs help.
you pause long enough to entertain kicking the person, but don't do it.
you pause and then feign a kick to the person's behind
there's no pause, just raw instinct, you make that kicking motion- consequences be darned!
8. You walk into a room and see someone you know fairly well bending over to pick something up. (Others are in the room). You...
avoid the view and speak to others present
you shout, "Hey, I didn't know there'd be a full moon today!"
you smile, make eye contact with someone else, and nod at the bent over person.
you pause and have such a prolonged angel v devil debate of conscience that others grow uncomfortable
you mock kick the person seeking the approval of those in the room.
there's no pause- you enter, kick, and enjoy the primal rush that comes with instinct.
9. If someone were to videotape while you sat in a movie theater the recording would capture the following:
you watching the film quietly
you whispering on occassion to someone next to you
you smirking often but not speaking to another
you turning left, right and behind smiling, pointing, and joking
you jabbing your elbow into someone next to you and making a quip
you acting like Robert DeNiro in Cape Fear
10. Which irks you most?
People who say "Good Morning" in a sing-song voice
Valentine's Day
People that have a negative comment for everything
People who laugh at their own jokes
Waiting in line
All of the above. I like to be the only one with license to complain.
11. Which food are you most like?
a four cheese pizza
a filet mignon with wine glazing
a Big Mac
a turkey wrap
a lobster
a hot tamale
12. You're a parent and your children are outside the house arguing with each other as kids will do. Your spouse turns to you and says, "Honey, don't you hear the kids outside fighting?" You reply,
"Nope." (Hoping your spouse will handle it.)
"Nope." (Because you don't care. You screaming kids are the neighborhood's problem.)
"I'll handle it, Sweetie." (And off you go to the crack of a whip.)
"If I don't answer does it mean it's really a problem?" (You try to use Zen logic to kill some time.)
"Hey, I'm not the kids' mother?" (You're an open chauvinist.)
"Hey, I'm not the kids' father?" (One of you married the other for money.)

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