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Elf Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Elf script is here for all you fans of the Will Ferrell movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Elf. I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free scripts!

Elf Script
Oh, hello.
You're, uh, you're probably here
About the, Uh, the story.
Elves love to tell stories.
I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves.
There's, uh, probably a lot of things
You... you didn't know about elves.
Another... another interesting Uh, elf ism

Uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf.

The first is making shoes at night
While, you know, while the old...
The old cobbler sleeps.
Lazy bum. Couldn't even make a clog.
You can bake cookies
In a tree. Hey!

As you can imagine, it's, uh, dangerous Having an oven

In an oak tree during the dry season.
[Screaming] I wanna make shoes!
But the third job... uh, some call It, uh,
"The show," or... or "the big dance,"

It's the profession that every elf Aspires to,

And that is to build toys in Santa's workshop.

Only two weeks left till Christmas!
I-It's a job only an elf can do.
Our... our nimble fingers,
Natural cheer and active minds
Are perfect for toy-building.
They... they tried using gnomes And trolls,
But the gnomes drank too much...
.