Who's your inner dictator?

There is a little bit of saintliness in everyone. Conversely, there must be a little bit of despotism in everyone, too. Take this quiz to get in touch with that despotism and find out who your inner dictator really is. It's quite accurate.

Disclaimer: If you are easily offended or have trouble reading big words, this quiz may not be for you. If you are somewhat twisted and love stupid crap, on the other hand, you will probably dig this. So boogey on down, already.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. In what type of clothing do you feel most comfortable?
A dark suit and a tie, preferably a red or blue tie
A military uniform
A cheap Socialist workers' uniform
Anything or nothing, plus a straw hat
4. What bad habit do you have or are most likely to have?
Kidnapping foreigners for various purposes
Drinking heavily and forgetting your lines
Shooting your friends and family on a bad hair day
Eating bodily excrements
Eating human flesh
5. What type of disease or disorder do you or are you most likely to have?
Syphilis of the brain
Antisocial Personality Disorder
A developmental disability
Acute neurosis, coupled with a severe drug addiction
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
6. How were you mistreated as a child?
Your father drank heavily and beat you
Your father put you through foster care to hide your illegitimate identity
Your father spoiled you terribly
Your family members took turns molesting you
Your parents sent you to an Ivy League school despite your grave learning disabilities
You do not recall ever having been a child
7. How ugly are you?
Quite ugly
Not too attractive
Average
Slightly above average
Extremely attractive
8. In which geographical region are you most likely to rule?
Eastern Europe
Europe
North America
Asia
Africa
Central America
9. How are you most likely to rise to power?
Being talent-spotted by a powerful elitist group with an agenda
Mostly by accident, through sloth and blindly accepting your friends' political ideologies
Through family ties
Somehow rising through the military ranks
Through an earnest political interest and effort
10. Approximately how many of your own people are likely to be killed under your dictatorship?
More than 30 million, mostly due to negligence such as famine
20 million or more
11 million
3 million
2 million
Less than 1 million
11. Which of the following pastimes do you most enjoy?
Fishing and baseball, so you say
Baseball and smoking cigars
Drugs and very skewed sexual acts
Making films, horseback riding, and shooting
Swimming, rugby, boxing, and cannibalism
I have no hobbies
12. What grandiose fantasy do you harbor?
Becoming the monarch of a British constituent country
Spending the rest of your life watching TV on a big bedful of pillows with lots of beer and pretzels
Creepy tentacles extending from my insides and devouring me into a state of euphoric chaos
I have everything I want, but I still feel empty inside
I have no grandiose fantasies
Fantasies are for those who cannot actualize their hopes

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