Which Ninja Turtle Are You?

There are billions of people in the world, all with different backgrounds, different thoughts, different experiences ... but all can be categorized based on which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle they are most like.

Take this special "Which Ninja Turtle Are You?" excercise to determine which of these adventurous amphibians you are most like, and to find out which weapon you should start carrying around with you.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Let's say you go to your favorite restaurant, but the waiter tells you your favorite dish is no longer on the menu. How do you resolve this situation?
Slice off the waiter's head with a sword.
Knock the waiter on the head with numchucks.
Bludgeon the waiter with a bo staff.
Stab the waiter in the heart with a Sai sword
Use your sex appeal to convince the waiter to serve you the dish anyways.
Have a polite discussion with the waiter about tasty alternatives.
4. You're driving a car, traveling with a group of friends, when you realized you are low on gas. What do you do?
Ask if everyone in the car will pool their money for gas.
Pay for the gas yourself.
Determine the weight ratio of the occupants, and calculate a fair gas purchase distribution.
Declare you're stopping for gas, and letting it be known contributions are welcome.
5. You're on the TV show "Deal or No Deal," and you've just been offered $260,000. The million dollars is still on the board, but the odds aren't in your favor. What do you do?
Take the $260,000.
Go for the million.
6. You're the lead singer of a rock band, and you've just been offered a multimillion dollar contract, but only if you ditch the rest of your band. What do you do?
Ditch the band, sign the contract.
Talk to your band, and get their input.
Sing the contract, but let your band know how much you're going to miss them.
Reject the contract, "All for one and one for all!"
7. The following choices are before you at a buffet. If you can only take one item, which would it be?
Pepperoni pizza
Broccoli
Chicken
Sausage pizza
Chocolate pudding
Cheese pizza
8. If you were president of the United States, and five different generals gave you the following options for the war in Iraq, which would you choose.
Withdraw all troops immediately -- Iraq shouldn't be our concern.
Withdraw all troops -- The war is only fomenting anti-U.S. violence
Dispatch ambassadors and begin multi-lateral discussions with Iraqi leaders and neighboring countries.
Withdraw all troops -- Democracy must be self-determined.
Sta.y the course with current troop levels
9. Which of the following five teams would you most like to root for?
Wisconsin Badgers
Syracuse Orangemen
North Carolina Tarheels
Georgia Tech Yellowjackets
U. Wisc.-Stevens Point Pointers
10. Which of the following Biblical characters do you most identify with?
Moses
Jesus Christ
Mary Magdelene
The Virgin Mary
Abraham
Jonah
11. Which of the following majors would you prefer for college courswork?
beer-drinking 101
political science
nuclear engineering
broadcast journalism
philosophy
software engineering
12. If you could be any team member on the 1996 World Champion Green Bay Packers football team, which would you be?
Kicker Chris Jacke
QB Brett Favre
Head Coach Mike Holmgren
Safety Leroy Butler
Superbowl MVP Desmond Howard
Defensive End Reggie White
13. Which music do you prefer?
Britney Spears
Led Zeppelin
The Beatles
Tool
Jimmy Buffet
Beethoven
14. If you were going to name your pet fish, what would you name it?
Bubbles
Morrow
Picasso
Spuds Mackenzie
Einstein
Dinner
15. When playing the board game "Risk," which world-domination strategy do you employ?
Attempt to dominate Asia, the largest continent.
Try taking over Africa or South America first.
Take over tiny Australia, and go from there.
Don't worry about winning, just sabatoge the player you don't like.
No grand strategy, just play for fun.
I've never played Risk.
16. Which soda brand do you prefer?
Coca-Cola
Pepsi
RC Cola
Store brand
17. Which is your favorite holiday?
Christmas
Easter
My Birthday
Halloween
New Year's
Independence Day
18. If you're with a group of friends, and you find a $20 bill on the ground, what do you do?
Pocket the $20.
Buy a round of drinks for your friends.
Buy a sensible dinner for your friends.
Invest the money in the stock market.
Turn the bill over to the cops.
19. What is the Pythagorean Theorem?
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.
The area of a circle is pi times the radius of the circle, squared.
All things being equal, the simplest of explanations is usually the correct one.
In a right triangle, the sum of the squres of two sides is equal to the squre of the hypotenuse.
I think, therefore I am.
Two parellel lines will never intersect on a rational plane.
20. Which one of these is NOT a beer?
Berghoff
Heineken
Blatz
Hoffman
Schlitz
Chimay
21. Which of these figures is most likely the anti-Christ?
Mickey Mouse
Saddam Hussein
Jerry Falwell
George W. Bush
Hillary Clinton
I don't like this question.
22. If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Yes
No
I don't know.
The question is non-sensical, and is asked to draw attention to the dual nature of existence.

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