What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old What is your gender? Male Female How much do you *actually* work? 0-5 hours per week cuz I have more important things to do 0-5 hours a week because I'm eating all day a full 37.5 hours per week because if I didn't I wouldn't know what to do a full 37.5 hours per week because I want to retire in style a full 37.5 hours a week because my sweetie's here too 80 hours a week because I'm inefficient and think I'm all that and a bag of chips The quality of your work is: Impeccable, just like me I have no clue. I don't even know what I should be doing. Crap. Pure and simple. I don't do work. I'm too good for that. It passes. I'm a government employee so it's not really about the quality afterall. Work? What's that? On a daily basis, how much do people avoid you? I've noticed people tend to duck into cubes a lot, now that you mention it. Aw, people don't avoid me. They LOVE me. I noticed people avoiding me so now I bribe them with food. They don't even say good morning. Pooh! They avoid me, but only cuz I'm Big Brother. I avoid them so they can't avoid me. What's your favorite website? www.christianmusic.com www.modelingadvice.com www.mass.gov/ghsb www.weddingchannel.com www.floridaboatersguide.com www.picgames.com The Secretary comes for a visit, what do you do? Keep eating and make him sign in. Run (don't walk!) to greet him and tell him all about everything I'm doing. Who? Keep working. He knows I'm here. Keep working. He has no clue who I am anyway. S---! Now I'll have to turn my computer monitor off when he walks by. You have something that needs to be given to another employee. What do you do? Carefully critique every bit of information on it before passing it on. Sign it without looking at it. Give it to the wrong person by accident. Give it to the wrong person on purpose. Let it sit in my mailbox til you remind me about it. Ask 101 questions about it til someone does it for me. Your emails are: Usually about some great thing that you did. Sporadic. Filled with errors so numerous no one knows what you mean. Many. Sometimes you just can't get your point across in less than 7. Generally containing a question someone already answered. Mean. On average, how many times a day do you go to the bathroom: 0: Bathroom breaks are for the weak. 4: So I can get some more time with my sweetie. 6: If I walk slowly enough, I reduce my working time by a whole hour! 10: I have a small bladder. 10: But I'm not really going to the bathroom... 4,639: All that ruffage has to go somewhere! How accurate is your time sheet? 100%: It's a public duty to accurately report my time. 100%: I put my time in so no one has any reason to fire me. 75%: I cheat once in awhile. 50%: Unless getting my hair done DOES count as work, that is. 50%: All those meetings, yeah, really I'm sleeping in. 25%: I actually work 75% more than what I report. What animal is most like you? Gorilla. Giraffe. Ostrich. Rat. Hummingbird. Panda.
