What Soup Suits You?

Soup is a splendid foodstuff, yet it is often overlooked as a true companion for a happy life. Many's the traffic warden who felt they were just going through the motions, working for 'the man', until they discovered the joy of soup.

That's why we've been compelled to compile this comprehensive questionnaire covering quite a lot of quality concoctions contrived from cook books. We believe that EVERYONE has a soup match somewhere out there, and 'everyone' includes YOU - no matter HOW low your self esteem.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. What kind of tooth do you have?
Sweet
Savoury
Partly salty
Falsers
Teeth removed to save on rising dental bills
4. How much emphasis do you put on looks when choosing a tin of soup?
Lots
Not so much
Hardly any
It's what's on the inside that counts
I buy in the equivelant of 'blind date' soup stores
5. What's the best thing since sliced bread?
Plastic cheese
Bacon trees
All of the above, and both of the below
TV dinners
Nothing
6. Last one! You'll soon meet your dream match. What do you think your reaction might be?
A subtle gasp
An overwhelmed shudder
A blaze shrug of the shoulders
As long as I'm not violently sick, that's all that matters
I'll probably check the letter box for the post
7. Ok, so that wasn't quite true - we do require 4 more answer from you. Hmmmm.... Let's see.... what's you favourite....... type of nut?
Peanut
Cashew
Macadamia
Pistachio
Brazil
8. What age group are you in?
New born
Toddler
School kid
Young enough, thanks
Getting on a bit
All or none of the above
9. Any allergies?
Peanut
Lactose
Wheat
Soap & water
Politicians
10. Preferred animal?
Cat
Dog
Horse
Giraffe
Snail
Gerbil
11. Darn it! They said TEN questions minimal! This is the 11th! Look, just answer anything for this:
1
2
3
4
5
12. This is surely the last one... Just bare with us, it WILL be worth your while. You NEED to know this information for your life to be improved greatly.
A
B
C
D
E
Z

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