What kind of lawyer are you?

Not all lawyers are the same. In fact, some lawyers are mean, some are nuts, some are ugly, and some make you want to tear your hair out and run away.

Most people think lawyers are the scum of the Earth, but few ever think about what kind of lawyer they could be. Do people hate you because you're boring, or crazy, or slimey, or just plain greedy?

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. You see a fender-bender in the parking lot of your favorite grocery store. You:
Run over and give your card to the victim.
Run over and give your card to the person at fault.
Think about how the accident affects the lease.
Think about whether one of the drivers could write off the repairs.
4. You're walking down the street and a drunk homeless guy taps you on the shoulder and asks for money. You:
Give him a quarter, but ask for a receipt
Give him a quarter, ask him about the limp, and give him your card
Give him nothing.
Wonder where he got that shopping cart.
5. True or False: It's better to have too many lawsuits than too few.
True
False
6. Your friend gets punched by a drunk guy in a bar. You:
Sue the guy, the bar, the bartender, the bouncer, and the guy's friend.
Offer to defend whichever of them calls you first.
Calculate the writeoffs for both police activity and medical care
Hope neither is a professional athlete.
7. True or False: Big corporations are entitled to as much legal protection as they can afford.
True
False
8. Statement: "My arm is broken." Your response:
"Don't worry, we'll get him. And the doctor too."
"We can always argue self defense."
"Can you work?"
"How much did the medical treatment cost?"
9. Which legal term sounds best to you?
Respondeat Superior
Consideration
Mens Rea
Fee Simple on Condition Subsequent
10. Best Fictional Lawyer:
Ted, "Scrubs."
Lt. Daniel Kaffee, "A Few Good Men."
Lionel Hutz, "The Simpsons"
Gerald Broflofski, "South Park"
11. Best sounding place to work:
Law Offices of [Your Name Here]
Skadden, Leboef, Miller, Goldberg
Coca-Cola
12. What research system is best for you?
Google
Lexis-Nexis
Findlaw
Westlaw

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