Should you be allowed to use a computer?

Some people should just not be allowed anywhere near a computer. Are you one of those, all too common oddballs? You may already be employed in a situation where using a computer is a necessary component of the job.

Test yourself, please provide the results to your tech support people. Help them to help you! Don't be embaressed about your score, speak the truth and shame the devil!

What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
What is your gender?
Male
Female
1. To switch on a computer you:
kick the plug
swear at the screen
call tech support
press the power button
Huh?
2. A computer uses what type of power?
propane gas
electricity
magic pixies
3. The actual computer unit is the:
telly thingy
typewriter thngy
funny box by the back door
big beige box with air blowing out the back
4. The operating system you use is:
Word
Windows / Linux / Mac OS
Office 97
Internet
Huh?
5. To clean a DVD or CD you:
rub it on your jumper
use an approved disposable wipe
lick it and rub it on you jeans
6. Left Click means:
press the left side mouse button
press the right side mouse button
use your left hand to thwack the mouse
7. Right Clicking does what?
makes it print
calls the context menu
makes the picture go all funny
8. Tech support asks you to close the window, you:
Click 'Start'
click on the top right X
get up, walk to the window and close it
berate the tech guy for his technobabble
9. Your screen picture is very wobbly, do you:
call tech support
move the desk fan away from the monitor
kick the plug
ignore it, it looks like an expensive repair
10. Your computer becomes unresponsive, you:
become insane with rage and threaten to toss it out the window
wait patiently until the disc access completes its cycle
press all the buttons
11. HTML is:
a kind of browser language
geeky technobabble
no idea
a variety of cucumber
12. Tech Support ask you for your user name, you
give them your password
give them your user name
give them your proper name and surname
ask him/her out on a date
13. Your mouse pointer is jumpy, you:
clean the gunge out of the mouse
throw the mouse away and buy a new one
demand a fully trained and qualified engineer to come clean the mouse
14. After 8 hours continuous use your laptop starts beeping
you realise the battery is running low
it's faulty and demand tech support fix it
shake the laptop hard and look puzzled
15. Furry Gonks stuck all over the monitor are:
personalisation
funny and cute
useless frippery
16. An ideal place to store dictation tapes is:
right next to the monitor
scattered all over the desk
in a box in a desk drawer
17. The best place to install your new computer is:
shut away right at the back under the desk away from power/comms
a convenient location to aid future servicing
next to a radiator
next to the transformer which powers the heavy workshop
18. You want your computer connected to the office network, you:
accept the tech guys cabling recommendations
demand he just slings a wire across the floor
get some wire and have a go yourself
whats a network?
19. Printed documents have become faint, you:
need to replace the ink cartridge
expect a fully trained and qualified engineer to replace the ink
refill the toner cartridge with fountain pen ink
20. on your laptop, pressing 'u' prints 4 and 'i' prints 5, you:
immediately call tech support
turn off numlock
stab the buttons harder so it gets the hint
21. A fully traned and qualified engineer repairs your computer, she tells you she is very busy and needs to get to her next call, you:
send her on her way with a warm word of thanks and appreciation
say 'while you're here...' and ask for a complete demonstration of Word/Access mailmerge
sneer at her because she's your gopher and you could have repaired it yourself anyway

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