Read My (Upper) Cheeks

When was the last time you looked in the mirror and nearly swooned, so great was the admiration you had for your cheeks? Of course, I mean the upper cheeks, not the kind associated with butt cleavage! You shouldn't have to be an acrobat to admire your cheeks in the mirror.

This quiz can help you to see your cheeks as meaningful sources of information about who you are as a person. I'm writing this quiz a professional physiognomist, or face reader, sharing my system of Face Reading Secrets (R). Discover the meaning of your cheeks.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. How do cheeks mean, to a face reader?
If you have cheeks, you're human (probably).
The only important term to use is "chipmunk cheeks," which means that a person can run really fast.
For 5,000 years, physiognomists have read physical characteristics of cheeks to learn about power.
4. Is there such a thing as "bad" cheeks?
Yes, if you look at them immediately after checking out your hairstyle on a bad hair day.
According to our society, sure. Society teaches us loads of ways (and alleged reasons) to be ashamed of our faces. If you wish, try pointing your finger and scolding them, "Bad, bad, bad." Does that do much for you?
To a face reader, all physical face data has meaning. (My system of Face Reading Secrets (R) is based on the premise that "God don't make no junk," so don't be afraid of doing the rest of this quiz.)
5. Do plump cheeks mean that a person is fat?
Obviously. That poor person has been eating way too many cookies.
Full cheeks mean exceptional support when you ask community to support something that you want to do. The potential challenge is being easygoing Ã¢ï¿½ï¿½not yet terribly good at saying no when others ask y
Well, if you look at real people, you'll find plenty of fat people with un-padded cheeks and many an anorexic with plump ones.
6. What is the benefit of having relatively lean cheeks?
Huge! You'll get through security check faster at the airport.
Un-padded cheeks correspond to a talent for self-sufficiency, where you have the inner oomph to get things done all by yourself, if need be. The corresponding challenge is not letting others know you need help, you're so used to doing everything for yours
If your cheeks were for sale in the meat counter, you could charge extra.
7. How can I tell if I have "apple cheeks"?
Everyone knows, that is just another term for big, obvious cheeks.
To the trained nose, they smell fruity.
"Apple cheeks" is a catchall term that no self-respecting face reader will use. Non-face readers use it to mean either prominent cheeks (that stick out a lot), padded cheeks (like the plump ones we talked about before), having cheeks be the widest part of
8. Are big, obvious cheeks the best ones to have?
Big, obvious cheeks go with a high-profile power style. The potential challenge is receiving more criticism that you would get if you weren't so high profile.
Every kind of cheek characteristic goes with a talent and also a potential challenge, or life lesson, that the person is learning here at Earth School; at least this is true for the system of Face Re
Sure, because having them makes you into a human doorknob. (Actually, two human doorknobs.)
9. If I have acne scars on my cheeks, does that mean anything?
Having scars on your cheeks means that you have gone through puberty.
Scars mean that you are horribly flawed and you should proceed immediately to your next incarnation.
Acne scars on cheeks relate to having gone through power struggles that made an impression on your soul, not just your cheeks. If the cheek scars are on the right side of your face, you were battling power at school or work. Cheek scars on the left side o
10. What does it mean if I have a pimple on my right cheek?
No dates for you, honey.
Only one? You're doing good!
Something related to work or school has brought up anger. Hopefully, it will be gone in a day or three, just like that pimple.
11. If I have a cute little dimple on both cheeks when I smile, what does that mean to a face reader?
Better not eat food that dribbles out of your mouth, or else you might puddle up.
You're cute. But only when smiling.
Charm is a gift. This is a non-manipulative kind of charm, where you have a contagious sense of humor that kicks in when other people around you get tense. That ability helps people to remember they are human and consequently wins you popularity points.
12. What is the potential challenge of having that kind of dimple?
It's so hard to count them (provided that you only know how to count up to the number one).
You want to smile constantly, just so those dimples will pop out. And this can make a person exhausted!
Potentially, you may be considered "just cute." It's annoying to have others underestimate your intelligence, job skills, etc.
13. For a love relationship, is it wise to choose someone with similar cheeks?
Only if you find it hard to recognize the face of someone who looks different from you. Facial recognition is pretty important for a love relationship.
If you love somebody and it's mutual and the relationship is positive, never let cheeks stand in your way.
Generally, it is far better to be with someone whose cheek proportions are different from yours. That way your power styles will complement each others, rather than having the two of you compete for attention in the same way. See if, between the two of yo

1. What is your age?

Under 18 Years Old

18 to 24 Years Old

25 to 30 Years Old

31 to 40 Years Old

41 to 50 Years Old

51 to 60 Years Old

Over 60 Years Old

2. What is your gender?

Male

Female

3. How do cheeks mean, to a face reader?

If you have cheeks, you're human (probably).

The only important term to use is "chipmunk cheeks," which means that a person can run really fast.

For 5,000 years, physiognomists have read physical characteristics of cheeks to learn about power.

4. Is there such a thing as "bad" cheeks?

Yes, if you look at them immediately after checking out your hairstyle on a bad hair day.

According to our society, sure. Society teaches us loads of ways (and alleged reasons) to be ashamed of our faces. If you wish, try pointing your finger and scolding them, "Bad, bad, bad." Does that do much for you?

To a face reader, all physical face data has meaning. (My system of Face Reading Secrets (R) is based on the premise that "God don't make no junk," so don't be afraid of doing the rest of this quiz.)

5. Do plump cheeks mean that a person is fat?

Obviously. That poor person has been eating way too many cookies.

Full cheeks mean exceptional support when you ask community to support something that you want to do. The potential challenge is being easygoing Ã¢ï¿½ï¿½not yet terribly good at saying no when others ask y

Well, if you look at real people, you'll find plenty of fat people with un-padded cheeks and many an anorexic with plump ones.

6. What is the benefit of having relatively lean cheeks?

Huge! You'll get through security check faster at the airport.

Un-padded cheeks correspond to a talent for self-sufficiency, where you have the inner oomph to get things done all by yourself, if need be. The corresponding challenge is not letting others know you need help, you're so used to doing everything for yours

If your cheeks were for sale in the meat counter, you could charge extra.

7. How can I tell if I have "apple cheeks"?

Everyone knows, that is just another term for big, obvious cheeks.

To the trained nose, they smell fruity.

"Apple cheeks" is a catchall term that no self-respecting face reader will use. Non-face readers use it to mean either prominent cheeks (that stick out a lot), padded cheeks (like the plump ones we talked about before), having cheeks be the widest part of

8. Are big, obvious cheeks the best ones to have?

Big, obvious cheeks go with a high-profile power style. The potential challenge is receiving more criticism that you would get if you weren't so high profile.

Every kind of cheek characteristic goes with a talent and also a potential challenge, or life lesson, that the person is learning here at Earth School; at least this is true for the system of Face Re

Sure, because having them makes you into a human doorknob. (Actually, two human doorknobs.)

9. If I have acne scars on my cheeks, does that mean anything?

Having scars on your cheeks means that you have gone through puberty.

Scars mean that you are horribly flawed and you should proceed immediately to your next incarnation.

Acne scars on cheeks relate to having gone through power struggles that made an impression on your soul, not just your cheeks. If the cheek scars are on the right side of your face, you were battling power at school or work. Cheek scars on the left side o

10. What does it mean if I have a pimple on my right cheek?

No dates for you, honey.

Only one? You're doing good!

Something related to work or school has brought up anger. Hopefully, it will be gone in a day or three, just like that pimple.

11. If I have a cute little dimple on both cheeks when I smile, what does that mean to a face reader?

Better not eat food that dribbles out of your mouth, or else you might puddle up.

You're cute. But only when smiling.

Charm is a gift. This is a non-manipulative kind of charm, where you have a contagious sense of humor that kicks in when other people around you get tense. That ability helps people to remember they are human and consequently wins you popularity points.

12. What is the potential challenge of having that kind of dimple?

It's so hard to count them (provided that you only know how to count up to the number one).

You want to smile constantly, just so those dimples will pop out. And this can make a person exhausted!

Potentially, you may be considered "just cute." It's annoying to have others underestimate your intelligence, job skills, etc.

13. For a love relationship, is it wise to choose someone with similar cheeks?

Only if you find it hard to recognize the face of someone who looks different from you. Facial recognition is pretty important for a love relationship.

If you love somebody and it's mutual and the relationship is positive, never let cheeks stand in your way.

Generally, it is far better to be with someone whose cheek proportions are different from yours. That way your power styles will complement each others, rather than having the two of you compete for attention in the same way. See if, between the two of yo

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Read My (Upper) Cheeks

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