Keith on behalf of David and Paul

This is just a fun quiz to see what kind of stereo-type teacher you could be. Most of the questions were not created by me but I hope you find them entertaining and - dare i say - helpful.

Could YOU rule the school? Do you have the level of ambition, manners, sensitivity, and caring that is required? The answer may be different to what you would expect - so take the test and we'll see if you are up to the job!

Created by: Keith

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. For the first time in his life Cecil, the class softy, is ever so slightly cheeky to you. Do you:
a) Pretend you didn't hear
b) Say, "I completely understand how you feel Cess baby, but i'd rather you didn't voice your opinions in quite so public a forum."
Give him a detention and make him cry
4. As usual tracy doesn't hand in her homework and says the dog chewed it up. Do you:
a) Believe every word and let her off
b) Ask if the dog's allright
c) Give her and the dog a detention and make them cry
5. On open night a parent politely asks if "the mark you gave my daughter wasn't a little on the low side?" Do you:
a) Upgrade the mark immediately
b) See her point of view exactly without commiting yourself
c) Downgrade the child's mark and then give them a detention for spragging on you, thus making them cry
6. You are on yard duty and you see Big Baz bashing Little Lawrence. Do you:
a) Hide
b) Say, 'Hey guys, enough. Let's do some drama to shake out those negative vibes."
c) Join in and then give them both detention, making them cry.
7. You are teaching maths and realize you can't do fractions. Do you:
a) own up and apologize
b) say, "Hey, let's work this thing out together."
c) drop the fractions and dish out a really tough spelling test which all the pupils fail, thus making them cry.
8. You are teaching maths and realise that you can't do fractions. Do you:
a) own up and apologise
b) say, "Hey lets work this thing out together."
c) drop the fractions and dish out a really hard spelling test which all the pupils fail, thus making them cry.
9. In your assembly, a pupil makes a rude noise very loudly. Do you:
a) ignore it, so all the school joins in to make louder ones
b) check it wasn't one of the teachers
c) give the whole school a detention, the teachers too. They all cry.
10. You discover one of your pupils tying up a supply teacher in a stock cupboard. Do you:
a) run away before they tie you up
b) try to see this situation from both points of view as they're tying you up.
c) Leave the supply teacher in there to teach him a lesson and make him cry.
11. In the staffroom a student is sitting in your seat, drinking your coffee from your mug. Do you:
a) say, "how nice."
b) shake their hand and do some bonding.
c) Shout a lot, demand your coffee and seat back immediately and make the student cry.
12. A student plays a practical joke on you by leaving a slimy toad in your desk. Do you:
a) quietly faint in your chair
b) become inspired and take the class on a wild and slimy nature hike through the schools pond
c) throw the toad out of the window, making the children cry
13. A student accidently splashes your brand new suade shoes with a tiny bit of bright blue paint. Do you:
a) say never mind and comfort the child
b) give the shoes to the child to continue painting. You prefer to go barefoot anyway.
c) Throw the shoes and the child out of the window, making them cry.
14. You find a student has brought alcohol into school and is drunk behind the bike sheds. Do you:
a) take the child to the sick bay and find something to clean up with
b) talk with the child, sharing some wild stories of your days of derring-do.
c) Get drunk with the child, giving any teacher who passes by a detention, thus making them cry.
15. A dinner lady offers you double chips and then double jam roly-poly pudding in front of all the pupils. Do you:
a) say, "no thankyou."
b) say, "only if the pupils recieve the same."
c) Scoff the lot then guzzle loads more off the pupils' plates making them cry

1. What is your age?

Under 18 Years Old

18 to 24 Years Old

25 to 30 Years Old

31 to 40 Years Old

41 to 50 Years Old

51 to 60 Years Old

Over 60 Years Old

2. What is your gender?

Male

Female

3. For the first time in his life Cecil, the class softy, is ever so slightly cheeky to you. Do you:

a) Pretend you didn't hear

b) Say, "I completely understand how you feel Cess baby, but i'd rather you didn't voice your opinions in quite so public a forum."

Give him a detention and make him cry

4. As usual tracy doesn't hand in her homework and says the dog chewed it up. Do you:

a) Believe every word and let her off

b) Ask if the dog's allright

c) Give her and the dog a detention and make them cry

5. On open night a parent politely asks if "the mark you gave my daughter wasn't a little on the low side?" Do you:

a) Upgrade the mark immediately

b) See her point of view exactly without commiting yourself

c) Downgrade the child's mark and then give them a detention for spragging on you, thus making them cry

6. You are on yard duty and you see Big Baz bashing Little Lawrence. Do you:

a) Hide

b) Say, 'Hey guys, enough. Let's do some drama to shake out those negative vibes."

c) Join in and then give them both detention, making them cry.

7. You are teaching maths and realize you can't do fractions. Do you:

a) own up and apologize

b) say, "Hey, let's work this thing out together."

c) drop the fractions and dish out a really tough spelling test which all the pupils fail, thus making them cry.

8. You are teaching maths and realise that you can't do fractions. Do you:

a) own up and apologise

b) say, "Hey lets work this thing out together."

c) drop the fractions and dish out a really hard spelling test which all the pupils fail, thus making them cry.

9. In your assembly, a pupil makes a rude noise very loudly. Do you:

a) ignore it, so all the school joins in to make louder ones

b) check it wasn't one of the teachers

c) give the whole school a detention, the teachers too. They all cry.

10. You discover one of your pupils tying up a supply teacher in a stock cupboard. Do you:

a) run away before they tie you up

b) try to see this situation from both points of view as they're tying you up.

c) Leave the supply teacher in there to teach him a lesson and make him cry.

11. In the staffroom a student is sitting in your seat, drinking your coffee from your mug. Do you:

a) say, "how nice."

b) shake their hand and do some bonding.

c) Shout a lot, demand your coffee and seat back immediately and make the student cry.

12. A student plays a practical joke on you by leaving a slimy toad in your desk. Do you:

a) quietly faint in your chair

b) become inspired and take the class on a wild and slimy nature hike through the schools pond

c) throw the toad out of the window, making the children cry

13. A student accidently splashes your brand new suade shoes with a tiny bit of bright blue paint. Do you:

a) say never mind and comfort the child

b) give the shoes to the child to continue painting. You prefer to go barefoot anyway.

c) Throw the shoes and the child out of the window, making them cry.

14. You find a student has brought alcohol into school and is drunk behind the bike sheds. Do you:

a) take the child to the sick bay and find something to clean up with

b) talk with the child, sharing some wild stories of your days of derring-do.

c) Get drunk with the child, giving any teacher who passes by a detention, thus making them cry.

15. A dinner lady offers you double chips and then double jam roly-poly pudding in front of all the pupils. Do you:

a) say, "no thankyou."

b) say, "only if the pupils recieve the same."

c) Scoff the lot then guzzle loads more off the pupils' plates making them cry

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Keith on behalf of David and Paul

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