How Swampy Are You?

Swampies. Love em or hate em, they're a part of War. Drunk, dirty and foul mouthed, they stagger around and amuse themselves while filling the quota on drunken vagabondery. Is that a word? It is now.

Are you a Swampy? Do you possess the knowledge and wisdom to navigate the inherent dangers in the Swamp? Or are you merely amusement fodder for the experienced predators in the darkness? Find out here...

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. You find a passed out person on the road in the dark. He/she appers to be fine and its a warm night out. What do you do?
Haul them back to your camp and ransom them off in the morning
Have sex with them as quickly and quietly as you can
Check them for valuables, then take said valuables
Cover them with a blanket and take their booze
4. Someone offers you a drink called 'unholy nightmare', you...
gladly accept and guzzle as much of it as you can before they wrest it out of your hands
ask what's in it and decline politely when they tell you
cautiously sniff at it before taking a swig
distract them with the 'holy crap, what's that behind you?' trick and run like hell with their booze
5. There's a woman sitting across the fire from you with her legs open enough for you to see her crotch, you...
wander over and say something witty
compliment her on her great beaver
offer to help her shave that thang
tell her her cock is hanging out
6. What is a 'sherpa'?
a drink of Himalayan origin
a middle eastern scarf
someone who carries you around when you're too drunk to walk
a kingdom level award for service to royalty
7. Your campmate is vomiting copiously, what do you do?
laugh until tears are streaming down your face
hold their hair out of the way
join in to make them feel better
take pictures and post them in as many forums as you can
8. You have a new guy who's really enthusiastic about fighting in your camp, the night before the first battle you...
let him get to bed early so he can have fun the next day
keep him up so late and make him drink so much that he vomits in his helm the next day
make him take a shot of vodka EVERY time he mentions anything to do with fighting
put LSD in his morning coffee and wish him the best in his first battls
9. You are clearly overdosing on something and things are getting scary, you...
go to chiurgeons point and spill the beans
start screaming about spiders and flee into the woods
huddle terrified in your tent and hope to come out of it with your sanity intact
seek out friends and let them know things are really f---ed up
10. You have just had random sex in a portacastle with a complete stranger, you then...
brag about it to anyone who will listen
start worrying about the fact you didn't use a condom
start looking for your next random sex partner
celebrate by getting annhilated
11. "Housed" means...
you're too sick to leave your tent
you've been restricted to your tent by your campmates for doing horrible things
you're uber-trashed
you're in a portacastle
12. You've just fallen down and you can't get up, what do you do?
pass out where you've fallen
moan piteously for help
call loudly for some sherpas
start crawling
13. you have insulted a Topsider and they challenge you to a duel. you respond by:
insisting it be a drinking contest
explaining to them that you're not a fighter and have no armor, but you like to get in bar fights
politely apologizing and telling them no insult intended
look for one of your friends that outranks them and let them deal with it.
14. What is "Rogue Dice"?
an amusing gambling game
a term that applies to random decision making
an idiotic drinking game
a bad decision
15. Its 8 AM and you're hammered. Not many people are up, but you don't want to go to bed yet. What do you do?
stagger from camp to camp looking for other drunk people to hang out with
steal stuff from sleeping camps
Drunken Topside Breakfast Run!
wake people up by being as obnoxious as possible
all of the above
16. Its nighttime, raining, the thunder god is clearly angry. What do you do?
yell at said thunder god letting him know how much he sucks
shuck off as much garb as possible and go drinking in the rain
huddle under a tarp and wait for the rain to stop
start a discussion about the dyeing processes of 7th century Celts
17. Your campmate is so hammered he they can't walk, you...
say f--- it and leave their drunken ass where they fell
sling em over a shoulder and get em back to camp
try to hire some sherpas
drag them by thier ankles to wherever you're going next

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