How Retarded Are You?

There are many stupid people, but few true retards. You are here to find out how retarded you so known which roving gang of retards you will need to join when they move into your quite little suburb.

Do you need a drool bib? Does math make your nose bleed? Could it simply be that you only act like retard? In the next few minutes you will now for sure!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. If you have to microwave something in the microwave for one minute, what do you type?
6-0 START
1-0-0 START
1-0-0-0 START
9-1-1
POPCORN
POPCORN POPCORN POPCORN POPCORN POPCORN
4. Who killed Nicole Brown Simpson?
Hitler
The Sugarsmacks Frog
Kato Kalin
OJ Simpson
She's not dead, she moved in with Jim Morrison.
Whitey
5. What statement about hats do you feel most resembles what you think about hats?
They keep my head warm.
You should never wear a hat in front of a lady.
I like to wear my baseball cap sideways.
Hats hide me from God.
6. Ford or Chevy?
Ford trucks rule!
Chevy trucks rule!
I prefer to buy a vehicle based on my financial means, the needs I have for that vehicle, milage estimates and other costs of daily operation and of course independent reviews about the vehicles reliability and resale value.
He was funny in that vacation movie.
Didn't he get shot for freeing the slaves?
7. What is your favorite reality based TV show?
American Idol
Friends
Survivor
The Ronco "Set It And Forget It" Show.
8. What is your favorite store?
K-Mart
Wal*Mart
Victoria's Secret
Fred's Helmet Emporium For The Mentally Retarded
Burger King
9. Fire?
FIRE BAD!!!
Fire is directly responsible for the evolution of man.
Pretty! Want to touch!
10. How strong are you?
I have trouble breathing on my own.
I can lift fiftentwentythousand pounds.
When I am angry I can rip people in half.
I can bench about 90 lbs.
Yes.
11. When you are left alone for more than 10 minutes you...
masturbate furiously.
scream and cry until someone comes to rescue you.
contemplate the universe.
crap your pants and giggle.
slowly die.
12. You have a brand new puppy who was out playing in the rain. You want to dry him off. What would you do?
Preheat the oven to 350 and bake for 20 minutes.
Microwave for 17 minutes + popcorn.
Give him a bath.
Red Rocket!
Put him in my shirt drawer for a few minutes.
13. Assuming the state allows you to create offspring who is your best choice for a babysitter?
Andrea Yates
Michael Jackson
That guy with the clown mask and no pants.
Fred Flintstone
That nanny woman from tv.
14. The best way to eat a frozen slushi is to...
pour it down your pants to keep other kids from stealing any.
rub it on your chest to show off to other kids what you have.
drink it as fast as possible so you can feel your brain.
let it melt and drink it at room temperature.
in small amounts while enjoy conversation with good friends.
15. Pick a number, any number, one that appeals to you.
7
13
grape
3.1415926535
This many!
16. How did you choose your religion?
I researched all the religions in the world, considered making my own up, and picked the religion that felt like the best fit for me.
I believe in the same god that mommy and daddy believe in because they were never wrong about anything.
You know those little pamphlets you see at public phones? I was scared by cartoon-hell.
I picked the religion that hates women and queers the most.
Free crackers and wine? Sign me up!
I chose my religion because Muhammad sounds much cooler than my real name.
17. Pie or Cake?
Pie
Cake
18. Who is your favorite superhero?
Spiderman
Superman
Wonderwoman
Batman
Cake
19. You need to ask your friend a question. You have a cellular phone in your hand. Do you...
call them and ask them your question.
text messages them with the cell phone.
forget your question before you can form it into a sentence.
masturbate furiously with the vibrating cell phone.
Die. Without ever asking your question.
20. How do you put your pants on?
One leg at a time.
I don't wear pants.
I need professional assistance.
Superglue and duct tape.
21. The greatest invention, ever, was...
Atari
puppies
assisted breathing
battleships
police officers
flannel

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