How Patrick are You?

There are many disgusting people, but few true Patricks. Patrick is, after all, quite exceptional. Who is Patrick? Patrick is someone who has an extraordinarily boozey mind, is unable to solve even the simplest of problems, and sees the world through a grotesquely warped point of view.

Are YOU Patrick? Do you have the lack of personal worth to qualify for that prestigious title? Until now, you could only wonder. But, thanks to this great quiz, in just a few moments, you can find out?

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Would you rather:
Enjoy the company of a fine lady
Get drunk and play Pokemanz
4. When answering the previous question, did you hold your chin and go, "HHHHHHHMMMMMMM...?"
Yes
No
5. Have you already, or are you about to scroll down the page to see how many questions there are?
Yes
No
6. What's 2+2?
4
Fish
BHEWZSH
Other
7. "Myew-tu." Did I spell that wrong?
Yes
No
I don't know
8. You're a freshman in high school. It's Saturday. You've got a one-page essay due in a month. Your buddy calls up, wanting to do s---. Should he have known that you can't do anything because you've got a one-page essay due in a month?
Yes
No
No, I'd do something anyway
9. Do you live in constant fear that someone will draw male genitalia on your face?
Yes
No
10. Do you have any of the following friends:
A rotund vegetarian who resents most everything
An off-the-wall jackass with excellent taste in headgear
A conceited, self-assured, short nerd with a penchant for terrible novels
An incredibly buff, good-looking genius who is surprisingly humble, given his outstanding achievements and personality traits, and whom is adored by most everyone
Several of the above
All of the above
11. How many times a week are you told to hand over your keys, being drunk?
0
1-2
3-4
5-6
7-8
9+
12. Roadhouse
Roadhouse
It's not Monday
What?
13. Which is the most sensible reason to own rabbits?
For food
As pets
For breeding
Just for the Hell of it
14. Do you wish Joe would stop insisting that you get off your ass and do stuff?
Yes
Who's Joe?
15. Do you live in constant fear that people will remove the contents of your lunchbox and draw smiley faces on it?
Yes
No
16. Let's say you're working in a group on a project for school, or work. Will you:
Complete the project faster due to the extra hands
Complete the project at the same pace because you insist on doing it yourself
Complete the project slower because you spend half the time being a jackass
17. What do you have to say about this quiz?
BAWLZ
Other

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