How much of a cowboy are you?

What is a true cowboy? You will soon know if you qualify. Most won't due to the sheer quantity of nonsense that is fed to people by public school, the media, and politically correct associates.

You will have some fun in this quiz laughing as you try to guess how the hilarious but true questions will affect your ranking as a true cowboy. Hint, pretend like you are a real person and not a government-controlled, media-controlled robot!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. What do you think of weapons?
Guns are useful and fun.
Although inherently dangerous, guns can be utilized fairly safely if proper regulations, laws, and training programs are put into place to prevent mis-use.
Firearms have inflicted unnecessary destruction on humanity.
Guns have no place in modern society.
4. What would you prefer to eat?
Tacos
Fettucine Alfredo
Truffles
Beans and tortillas
5. What would you prefer to drink?
Beer
Soda
Wine Spritzer
Tea
6. What Bible would you prefer to read?
I don't read the Bible.
King James
New International Version
American Standard Version
7. What would you prefer to do for entertainment?
Go fishing
Watch ballet
Play chinese checkers
Watch TV news
8. What would you do when the baby is going to be born?
Avoid the issue by not having children
Pre-schedule the delivery date to be convenient via labor inducement of C-section.
Take woman to hospital for delivery when baby starts coming.
Help the woman be comfortable and let it come
9. If your dog is mean, what do you do?
Throw rocks at it
Tie it by the road to keep people away
Shoot it
Take it to the vet to put it to sleep
10. If your family member is crying because they cut their leg open, what do you do?
Call 911 and let the professional paramedics in the ambulance stabilize the patient and prepare the injured person for transport to the Emergency Room
Tell them to knock off the bawling and then try to sew it up yourself or glue it shut with super glue
Take them to the Emergency Room in your car
Take them to a smart ingenious relative to fix it
11. What's the leading cause of substance abuse?
Society's permissive institutions and easy availability of addictive substances like alcohol, tobacco, and drugs
Need for more drug awareness instruction in schools
Children not being raised right in two-parent families
Societal pressures created by joblessness, poverty, and prejudice
12. How do you fix a hole in the roof?
Plastic tarp and rocks until you can get to town to buy some tar or roofing material
Call the roofer and pay him to fix it
Call your comprehensive home owner's insurance plan and request them to pay for it
Compain to the previous homeowner about hidden defects in the house
13. What do you name your dog?
Muffin Tops
Cerberus
Dog
Spotty
14. What's a good number of miles to hope for out of your car tires?
30,000
If we all used mass transportation, it would protect the environment and we wouldn't need cars
40,000
50,000
15. What do you think of foreigners?
They are good workers
I hate the way they talk
They take away American jobs
They consume less and leave less of a footprint on the environment
16. What would you prefer to name your boy?
Cody
Samuel
Todd
Billy Ray
17. What would you call the wife of your father?
Mom
Step-mom
Hey you!
Given first name (ie., Ethel, etc.)
18. What is more useful?
A map
A piece of string
A piece of wire
A book
19. Which one of these restaurants do you go to more often?
Bob Evans
Pizza Hut
Arby's
Pasta House
20. Which statement is the most true?
Parents should nurture their children's interests.
Children should respect their parents
Only a misguided parent would ever spank a child
Parents should try to convince their children to act appropriately
21. What do you do if a bear is following you in the forest?
Take careful aim and shoot it in the head
Go about your business. Most animal attacks are caused when animals are disturbed by man. Animas generally will not attack unless provoked
Shoo it away or play dead if it gets very close
Make sharp noises by banging sticks together to create a fear reaction. If this does not work, throw rocks or sticks at it
22. Which is most true?
Due to the national health care crisis, most people cannot afford medication
Over-the-counter medications can be used whenever desired. Others require a doctor's expertise.
Often, well-informed people are capable of choosing pharmaceutical medications for their own use.
Only a doctor can diagnose and decide what medications are appropriate for each condition.
23. Which on e doesn't mean female?
Filly
Foal
Horse
Cow
24. Which one catches fire easier?
Mesquite
Oak
Juniper
Hickory

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