How Mormon are YOU?

This exciting test has been brought to you by The Sacred Sister. After looking over all of the exciting quizes that are offered on the internet, I couldn't resist making my own!

Some people, like ExMoron for example, think tests like these are a waste of time. This simply isn't true. The are designed to be fun and are strictly for entertainment only. So sit back, answer my silly questions and enjoy yourself.

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Who is your favorite General Authority?
Thomas S. Monson
Boyd K. Packer
Dallin Oaks
David A. Bednar
None of the Above
What's a "General Authority"?
4. Which book would you most likely find on your bedside table?
An Insider's View of Mormon Origins
The Miracle of Forgiveness
The Book of Mormon
No Man Knows My History
Kama Sutra of Sexual Positions
None of the above
5. Do you practice polygamy?
Yes, it is a commandment from Heavenly Father
No, but I want to
Hell No!
No, but my spouse wants to
I will when I'm a God/Goddess in the Celestial Kingdom
What's polygamy?
6. How many children do you have or would you like to have?
Zero
One or Two
Three
Four
More than Four
As Many as Heavenly Father will bless us with
7. Some friendly neighbors invite you to a Sunday afternoon BBQ. What do you do?
Accept their invitation
Accept their invitation and offer to bring some alcoholic beverages
Make an excuse as to why you can't attend
Tell them you're busy and then send over some green jello salad
Explain to your neighbors that Sunday is Heavenly Father's day and invite them to go to church instead
Stop talking to them. You don't want friends that don't keep the Sabbath Day holy
8. You just discovered that a lady in your neighborhood is an "exmormon". You don't know her very well. What do you do?
Pray for her. Maybe Heavenly Father will soften her hard heart
Make her a batch of your famous chocolate chip cookies & give her a note telling her how much you love her
Forget about it. It's none of your business
Tell your children to avoid playing with her children for fear you'll catch the apostate bug
Make a point to get to know her better, you're an exmormon as well.
Assume she must be a sinner and avoid her like the plague.
9. How many times have you read the Book of Mormon?
None
A few times
Just when my seminary teacher made me
More times than I can count
Only when I couldn't fall asleep
What the hell is the Book of Mormon?
10. What was Joseph Smith Jr doing in the sacred grove?
praying
treasure hunting
shacking up with the hot chick from the farm next door
dropping acid
Joseph was never in the sacred grove, it was all a sham
Who the hell is Joseph Smith?
11. When was the last time you talked with your bishop?
Last week in church
When I handed him my resignation letter
During my Court of Love
Today, he's one of my good friends
I can't remember
What the hell is a bishop?
12. When the LDS Missionaries knock on your front door, what do you do?
run and hide
ask them to come in so you can hear their message
Greet them by name and direct them to the non-members in your neighborhood
Tell them that you aren't interested in hearing about the church, but offer them some water
Tell them to get the %*#@ off your porch before you sic your dog on them
Close the door in their faces
13. How often do you pay tithing?
I pay tithing only when I feel like it
I have never paid tithing
I used to pay tithing when I was an active member
I pay 10% or more of my income to my church every month
I am a fairly regular tithe payer
14. You find out that a good friend has broken the Word of Wisdom. You encourage them to...
pray to Heavenly Father and ask for forgiveness
Talk to their bishop about it
Stop being friends with them. It's obvious the devil is working on them.
Ignore it, it's none of your business
Congratulate them and invite them out for coffee/beer
What the hell is the Word of Wisdom?

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